+[x]nEed+somE+a|r+t0+breAthe[x]+

2008-02-10T21:21:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps! I changed my blog already. =) haniza.wordpress.com

I'm leaving this place as a memory so that when I turn back, I see the mistakes I've made in my life that contribute to who I am at a later date. Hahahas. =)

2007-10-30T08:31:00.000-07:00

honestly, i'm irritated by the comment in my tagboard, I mean, don't you have anybody's life to fuck about? Get a life.

anyway, I was thinking about things today. I wanted to pen down my thoughts but, I don't think I remember them anymore. Things is turning out great these few days. Hope I can pass and go to JC. it's my life i'm destroying anyway. excited for the Jay's concert, in which by the way I am not going, unless they intend to have a second one. Oh well, just my luck. we shall see how.

getting a job soon after the o's. i hope to get a good one. one interesting one from standard chartered. But, looking at the working hours, touche. i still want to continue my services to the community here. how am i suppose to do that with all that time working? tsk tsk tsk.

anyway, those o level peeps out there. trust me on this, you guys probably discuss the questions and answers right after your paper. don't do it people. because it will only further demoralise you and affect you for your next paper. keep away from that paper that you got ok? but if you were going through the same subject for revision and spotted your mistake. hmmm, i guess that's just your luck.

great horoscope today. im suppose to do everything that i want to do by afternoon. im not suppose to do impromptu things. everything must be carefully planned out. im not sure what i want to do. i'll probably eat cup noodles. too lazy to whip up anything. kimchi noodles sounds good? with miso? i thought so too.

then, i'll get to work tml. physics and ss. hmmm, which one shall i do? i think physics. silly me. busy on thursday, crash course with my cousin. =) i think that will be my plans so far.

and i'm suppose to keep touch with my old friends. well, i just talked to my best friend on the phone. saw ru yi at hougang point. definitely a surprise because it's not her territory. lols.. silly. and talked to linda who's taking o's as well. im quite well acquainted, i must say.

to all those who has love headaches of heartaches. don't let it bother you for the time being alright darlings? concentrate on the exams coming up next and do your thing girls or guys.

my new motto will probably be, 'be practical' ... be reasonable about things. try to look at things at a different point of view and you will see that sometimes things happens for a reason. we not necessarily need to question it or change it. we sometimes as humans need to learn how to accept things the way they are. not everything will be changed according to how you want it.

ok? and about making mistakes. everyone made mistakes. after all, we're only humans.

2007-08-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a fun day I guess. HAhas.. Went out to Serangoon to meet our teacher to practise certain skills. =) Then, went to someone's house to gossip a bit. End up staying and playing card games until 9. Then, my parents were on the way so they fetched me back.

I got back just about an hour ago or so. Hahas.. I've updated my story finally. I'm left with one more chapter which is the epilogue and I'm good to go. If I do have the time, I'll slowly start on my next story. After the o levels, I'll start brain storming on my Christmas story. I'm so excited. I think I must watch out for new story lines.. Hee hee. =)

I've just started reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I must say that I certainly like it at this point of time. But, let's just say that I've only passed the 20th page mark. So, I still have a long way to go and have a lot of time to think about what's appealing to me in the story. =)

Well, english classics does seem as if it clashes with me. But, I think it's perfectly fine at this point of time. =) That's all. I think I shall go and read. There are loads of words I didn't know of until today. Hahas. =)

2007-08-07T04:20:00.000-07:00

Honestly Haniza, why are you letting him affect your fucking life. I mean, it's your life after all. If I want to become a sweeper tomorrow, it's still my life.

Why are you letting his words get in your way.

Why are you letting what your friends say affect you. Which you have done very well to block their words out.

I've mention this before and I won't hesitate to say this again. It's the matter of choices in life. It's my life, if I want to throw it away, I can do it. Why? Because it's choices.

People go to school because their parents want them to. Or, they want to pass o levels. But, I'm sure a handful of them had already taught about what they're going to do in the future.

I havent. I'm too preoccupied pleasing my parents. I wanted to be so many things. But, every single time I wanted to do it, he holds me back. So, thats why I said something inside me grew smaller..

I was scared to do so many things due to the limitations. I'm not allowed to go to poly. Surprise? Yar, maybe I should just go to ite. People don't tell me to think positive. I hate it when someone tells me that.

I want to think positive but I've been trying so hard that I'm lost in my own loops of strings I created around my feet.

I always trust my sister. Never fail. But, she seems to be in a habit of hmmm, how do I say this? Getting me into trouble or emotionally affected. But, every time, I choose to trust her. Why? Because she's family.

People might say I'm throwing my life away or slacking. Hahas.. Funny. Because I am. See how negative I've become? A big turn around.. I shall wait for my MT results to kick me back into the other side.

Anyway, I always see the board every day.. People get stress about it. Well, I tell myself, once you hit the 60 mark, then, you study haniza..

Hahas.. Ironic.. I wonder if I'll do it..

He said that he's pressurizing me because in school they might be motivating me. HE thinks that I get around with reverse psychology. Ya right.. You're driving me down the drain every time.

No amount of scolding can help me now. I just need a reality check. In which I already know of. I feel the urgency but never the motivation to do it.

I can't be bothered with life. You ask me why I never come to school? I say it's choices but it's so much more..

Secret spoiler Shhhh. Don't tell anyone..

2007-08-06T07:08:00.002-07:00

This is the trailer. Hee hee.. =)

Ok, Let me just point out to you guys that this particular post might contain some spoilers. So, those who have not watched the show and intend to watch it, I suggests you don't read this post. Hee hee. =) It might contain scenes that involves the movie. But, if you don't mind, go ahead.

I'm giving a review on what I think of the movie. =)

This is the at the pizza hut at PS. I was with Wan Xuan and Jia yu. The Pizza was mine. Something nicer than what I usually eat. =) A recommendation. The drinks were nice as well. Except for Wan Xuan's, she thinks its sweet. Oh well, mine was normal. Hahas.

*SPOILER*

Ok, Here goes..

These are the pictures of some of the scenes inside. =) Nice right.. Hahas.

This is the pictures of him directing the movie. Anyway, I already found out that he had started to film this movie beginning of this year in February. It amazes me how fast it is.. =)

Jay, 4 thumbs up!!! Those who want to critise . Hold first.. It's a yellow card for you who want to rebut my words. EEEk..

Anyways, the movie was something that I never knew would be successful. LOLs. Weird, I know. I'm after all a Jay Chou fan. But, I'm a realistic one at that! So, I went in the movie theater without having much expectations. And I come out of the cinema, crying and very amazed at how he well he did. I'm sure all the Jay Chou fans who have watched it feels the same way. But, of course we give him credit because he is a first timer. =)

Ok, certain parts of the scenes had weak editing. I don't like the ending of the computer effects. It was fake.. LOLs. But, one thing that really made me like the movie was the twist. The storyline was complicated, I must agree. But, the twist was something that was unexpected. So, thumbs up!

Not only that, his acting has improved. The girl's acting was hmmm, cheeky? There were some weird cheeky lines. Sometimes, we, Jay Fans wonder if he was ever that cheeky when he was in high school. LOLs.

The music was wonderful!!! Hahas. Great piano skills displayed. Yu hao was as good I must say. Hahas. =) Jay was a splendid player. =) The girl was not bad. In fact, Anthony, Jay's father inside the movie played the piano.

When Jay asked him over to play his father, because he felt that they had the chemistry when they were filming Initial D, he actually didn't know that Anthony played the piano as well. So, it was a plus point!! Hahas..

Ok, Jay had actually mention this before. We must watch it two times to actually appreciate the movie. It has a deeper meaning. So, guess what? I'm watching it again. Hahas.. =) With my junior and senior. They are still deciding the date. LOLs. =) That's all.

Have I said this before? 4 stars.. hahas.. =)

Oh yar!! YOu must be thinking what's the secret. Well, haven't you heard, Jay wanted us to keep it a secret!!! So, shhh. don't tell anyone..

Secret

2007-08-06T07:08:00.001-07:00

Red Carpet

2007-08-06T06:30:00.000-07:00

This is another post regarding the red carpet I went to. Please tell me if you want to take any of the pictures ok? LOLs. Anyway, here goes. I arrived at 4.40 by the way. The thing started at 9.10 -.- I wanted to put all the pictures in a slide show also. I bit lazy to take everything in. But, the stupid system just has to cock up. LOLs. So, here I am presenting picture by picture.

That was the picture. Promotional.. Hee hee..

I thought the thing looked very grand. Hahas.. =)

Beware people!! He touched the piano!!! Hahas..

If you guys watched the movie already, I think he looks good playing the piano. Hahas. Anyways, he was playing 'Bu neng shuo de mi mi' for this particular piece. The other one he played was with the girl. =) Which appeared in the movie as well. =) It's a catchy piece.

Isn't he suave!!!

This is probably my favourite picture of all in the movie. Hahas. This one *SPOILER* He played without looking and only by hearing. Then, the girl pointed out that 'he likes to play one-handed' hahas.. =)

Look at the crowd.. Hahas..

Of course, it rained.. Hahas.. But, that didn't dampened out spirits!!!

Ok, that's all. Next one will most probably be about me going to watch the movie and after that as well. Hahas.. =)

2007-08-06T06:10:00.000-07:00

Some people are kind of complaining that I'm having TOO much words inside my blog. So, I decided to do something else this time round. I may still have words but the pictures will do most of it.. Hahas.. =)

The one that has Hak in it is the fact that he claimed the Benz was his.

Then, the bun that has a straw in it, he did that as well at the coffee shop. The straw actually has milk tea in it. Hahas..

Then, the so call dough nuts were meant for Paul's advance birthday. =)

This one is that video of Sophia's mishap of trying the 'collon' that has chilli inside. It was meant for Cai Xin and Paul. LOLS.

2007-05-23T01:51:00.000-07:00

Hey people. I'm writing a short post this time before I actually start my malay composition. Hmmm, let's see, my english results were terrible. However, I must say that I have improved my comprehension. There is still room for improvement but still, I manage to pass the paper 2 this time. =) Other than that, things like e maths, I still improved. I passed it like finally.. Then, chemistry paper, I passed it as well. =) Well, overall for english, as per usual, won't pass. I am not surprise because I really did messed up my paper 1 this time. My grammer was terrible I must say. Other than that, I failed everything else. =)

If you're asking me whether I'm happy, of course I am not.. However, subjects like Chemistry, E maths, A Maths, Malay, English and Biology. I actually improved slightly in the subjects. The rest, well, I slack a bit. Even though the improvement might not be massive, I still appreciate if my parents were to give me a little encouragement like good effort.

I regret to say this but, reverse physiology doesn't work on me. If you were to tell me things like I'm stupid. Then, it will just go inside my brain and register. And if it is repetitive like 'Jia yous' 'Work hard'. It will not work for me. I would not want to work harder. Not only that, my dad said, not good enough. Well, too bad. See whether I'll improve it or not. I do not like it if he said something like that. Well, first response would be: prove your dad wrong. Well, it doesn't work for me. Why would I want to prove him wrong. He says that line every time that I'm so used to it already and therefore, it would not have any effect on me.

Now, what would motivate me you might ask? Well, currently, things that is encouraging would be nice. I like it when my Malay teacher tells me my strengths. It would urge me to work on that strength further. I like it when Miss Suan was very patient with all of us TLC group. Not only that, I like the smile on her face when she passed me the paper 2 and told me that I passed. =) I like it when I actually know how to do chemistry questions in the paper. Not only that, since I'm improving for Chemistry so much, my interest in the subject grows and I ask to clarify things when I do not know them. These are the small small gestures that I look forward to everyday.

However, I spent more time at home and I would never get this kind of thing. Well, my CCA is going to treat the sec 4s like rubbish now. Well, we can see it coming. It's like we're thrown aside after we are being used. But, when my friend doesn't like it, I kinda have a slight favour to this idea. So that I wouldn't concentrate so much on the project and actually concentrate on my studies. However, it makes me think that I am actually irresponsible leaving it to my juniors to do. But, I think I do know what has cause all these. It's because of all me.

It's because I'm not doing well. I cannot juggle things. I do not how to prioritize things. I know it's my fault but I guess it's too late now. Perhaps we cannot turn back the time. But, we can only look towards the future. Isn't that right?

2007-04-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

my best friend used to tell me to use a monotonous colour for my blog. Which I've been using for quite some time, orange. But hey, why should I listen to people? I should just run my life as it is. So that when something bad happens, I wouldn't blame others, in turn, myself for being so stupid and foolish.

I've celebrated my birthday. It was a simple celebration. Cooking from their house and coming to elle's house to eat. Nonetheless, I bet they thought about what to do. LOLs.

The presents that I received are very interesting and some are very nice and very appealing. Thank you guys!!! I appreciate it.. Thanks a lot..

I want to talk about how upsetting a day can get. In guides, I had to form a colour party with the sec 3s. Because we needed to put down the school flag to do our ceremony. Then, you know.. NP is always very respectful kind of thing. Then, we were going to start. Then, I realized something. We did not wear our hat. Then, I asked them to put it on but found out something else. Yan Zhen did not have hers with her. Honestly, I would have kept the name a secret. But hey! What's there to hide isn't it?

Then, well, I couldn't be bothered and just carried on. Because I did not want NP to wait. Then, we just started. Well, my juniors just need to throw my face. Yan zhen forgot to halt. but we didn't go so far off. Then, Shiyva and Yan Zhen were slightly panicking and they talked. See, how embarrassing. I'm just fated with this kind of thing. Then, she put down the thing. I forgot to mention one more thing. While we were marching, Wan Yu was in front of me sitting down. How rude. See, we're not the only one. People are facing embarrassment of their own. In their own way.

I'm utterly disappointed. Then, the enrolment ceremony was one disaster. I kept telling ellis to just carry on because that was the formation that they can do. Well, the best when it was well a disaster. Then, I actually thought the sec 1s was bad enough. The PLs and PSs were as bad. They were not coherent and some not serious enough. Eh, if you do not want it, tell me. Because we can give it to someone else who is willing to dedicate herself to what is assigned to her. But for the PLs, I think it was the lack of practice.

Then, I heard something else. Some people told me that in the midst of our ceremony. Oliver did not look too happy. And, someone from there pointed middle finger at us. Well, they were unhappy that we are using the parade square all by ourselves. Well, let me ask you. When you do your parade, do you see us marching around the parade square making noise? Do you? One more thing, if you're not happy. Can I ask you something? How often do you use the parade square for parade practice? 5 times a year? twice a month perhaps? Well, guess what? We only use it for like 3 to 2 times a year? Is that so hard to give us?

We are also uniform group. Even if we do not concentrate on marching. Let me enlightened you, at least some of our girls when they go out to the real world. They might actually learn and make use of something they have done in our CCA. We nurture girls, empower women. Not torture girls, make them march perfectly.

Not only that, most of the time, we go hiding in the basement or basketball court. Ok, I'll just face up to reality, because in terms of marching, we will never be as good as you are, that's why we are always in hiding. So, the two of you take control of the parade square. So, when we want to use it for one of our ceremony, we cannot do so? Are you guys perhaps being very unreasonable here?

Honestly, if you're going to point middle finger at me or even think of being unsatisfied with us, unreasonably. Think again. Because I might declare war.

2007-04-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

I cut my hair today.. Pretty eventful because I hardly cu my hair.. LOLS. =) But, it can still be tied.. So, I'm fine with it.. =)

My old mouse is back!!! It's working.. =) Quite an eventful thing as well. =)

2007-04-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

You know whenever there are times when somebody says something, and something else shook or jingle slightly in you. Well, I'm sure people feel that way all the time. There are times when people needs a break from things. Truth to be told, I use to cry a lot in order to let out my frustrations. Well, let's just say, that changed because I'm used to telling myself be strong. Isn't that stupid?

By saying that to myself, am I seriously being strong? Then, now, I don't cry anymore to let out my frustrations. I really feel like crying right now. But every time a tear drops, the one waiting, would retract. So, I don't cry anymore and that worries me. It means I'm not myself anymore.

People are changed due to the happenings in life. But, mine is different.. Hais.

She betrayed me. She did. I know she did. Even though I know that I did not specifically told her that it cannot be told, she did. She told them. To me, they've just attached a sound device. Well, I'm not even going to open up to you people anymore. Not anymore, not when you're watching my back all the time. Why did I give in the other day? Why did I?

What am I so stressed about? I have no idea. I'm stressed about something. If I want to say studies, I wouldn't say so. What have a I done all these while? If I want to say guides, I wouldn't say I'm actively involved right now. So, what the hell am I stressed about? Why should I free stressed about, should I say. My cousin told me before, he said that we are not suppose to feel stress. You should only feel stress if you are unable to get a social position that you want. What rubbish is that? You know, I've been thinking, maybe I'm suffering from depression. I know it's pretty serious but hey, depression may start small and turns out big. But, its has a possibility of prolonging, that's why.

2007-03-27T02:32:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a long time since I had last blog. I do realize that I have been shutting myself from the world outside. I have been writing my story in order to improve my English and let's just say people there have been mentioning that I'm one of the better writers but let's don't put on airs. I have not really studied hard enough. However, Ellis had just mentioned to me about the Mid-year examinations. People, we only have around 3 to 2 more weeks. Therefore, I think all of us who have not pulled up their socks, like me, must do so.

I have put in more effort in watching the news and reading the newspapers. Well, I must admit it that I enjoy doing so. I seem to like Chemistry more than A maths right now. If you're asking me how I'm putting in effort for it. Let's just say, I'm not doing much for A maths. It's really very tiring for that subject.

Anyway, I wanted to blog today was because of the drastic changes in certain things or rather someone. Someone in my class had break down. Breaking down as if in what, you ask? I shall not disclose that. However, all of us was very very worried and we are very concern about our friend. Then, I think to myself, when will be my turn?

Somehow or rather, we, the famous 5 know that we might break down. We are all pressurize by something but just would not admit it. However, for the past few cases, the people who had broken down in front of me are the ones who is the most unexpected. However, we may be able to decipher from the little details that come our way.

To my friend, I would you to know that we, your friends will always be there for you. Be it rain or shine. You only need to tell us. Even if it was a leaning shoulder or a listening ear, we will be willing to do so. That because we are all your friends. Precisely the saying, 'What are friends for?' I have the answer for you, it's for your comfort and entertainment. It's for the blissful feeling of being welcome in a company and being cared for. Therefore, we will be there for you... Just take plenty of rest. =)

2007-03-09T19:39:00.000-08:00

You know sometimes, I look at my sister when I'm angry. I see the image of me grabbing her head, and banging her head against the wall. and I see her hands trying get my hands off. But, I'm too strong for her. Then, I feel her lifeless in my hands with blood trickling down the wall, her head and in my hands.

2007-02-19T05:41:00.000-08:00

Harlow. I wanted blog before I went out to study. I'm doing overnight study with my sister. I've got to go out and study. If I don't I'll never get my assignments done. I've got english, physics and malay. LOADS of MALAY. There's like three compositions I have to write. LOLs.

Oh well, Eugenia Lau is in Genting. I think she's back by the time. Oh well, I went to Sheena's house today with Eleena and Ellis. Fun. Hahas. I didn't know we're not suppose to read book at their houses. It's inauspicious.. Hahas.. =) I don't feel like writing liaos.. Ciao..

2007-02-09T18:35:00.000-08:00

I've decided to post about the release of O levels' results that took place yesterday. The entire hall was a place of tears, fears and happiness. There were expressions are were expected which was of joy. Some of my seniors were happy with their aggregate. They were elated and jumped in front of the teachers. However, in life there are always tears. There are some seniors of mine who were in despair. They were disappointed.

There were people who had thought their results was ok which was not good but not that bad. But what had made me so silent during the entire process of when they're taking the results is the fact that I was watching everyone's expression. I couldn't see my teacher's expression well because they were backed faced me. But, I manage to catch a good glimpse of their reaction which was shaking head, nodding or anything else.

Han Xiang who still topped the sec 5 got 9 points. Congratulations. As for the express classes, it was Su Xin who got 8 points. Congratulations as well. However, I was wondering why didn't anybody beat Hayati, a 6 pointer of Bowen.
Why? Was it because no one was as smart as her? Was she very hardworking? Was it because she has a small number of subjects? What was it?

Not only that, she was from a combined science class. No one expected it. No one. It was unbelievable. But, nonetheless, she did it.

Therefore, teachers would ask, would you like to have a reaction on that day whereby you have tears of joy of tears of sadness?

2007-02-06T05:36:00.000-08:00

i feel as though my world is crumbling apart.
apart from expressing myself, letting ones emotions shown is like fart.
foul and smelly.
but not all are jelly.

some pure as white
and as dusty as a construction site.
trying to pick myself up from the dirty ground.
i feel myself falling back into a bound.

i try and try and try.
but i never fail to cry.
everytime i try, i'll fall.
even if i win, i'll be dull.

i shouldn't have cried.
wasting my tears on raisins that are dried.
unable to collect back my tears.
i fall into a pit of fear.

apalled by my words and action.
worried about my decision.

writing this part
brings tears to heart.
unable to contain by heartfelt feelings,
i open them in an open stretch of railing.

my cheeks glistening
just like the silvery railing.
coated by silver.
as i try to cover.

i fought hard to state my opinions.
but, like debate, there's also also hectic options.
what do they expect for me to meet?
it seems like see my breaking down shows my defeat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was the poem from my blog previously.. I didn't what occasion was it.. hahas.. But quite nice.. hahahahas. Nahs. not as nice as my sister and the lit students.. hahas..

In people's shoes

2007-02-04T06:46:00.000-08:00

Well, I wouldn't direct anything to anyone. This post goes out to all seniors and teachers.

As for the teachers part, a few days ago we had a discussion with the class remember? Well, Celest said this: 'I feel for the teachers man.' This was because they didn't have the opportunity to actually stand in front of the class and try to get their cooperation. Well, I appeared so relaxed because I knew how they felt. But, due to guides, I tone done my reaction. It's good that they know how the teachers feel now. Whenever we are in a noisy state.

Then, seniors. I apologize if at any point of time any of us mentioned: 'Ever since she got that post, she changed.' There are of course limits to this. However, we now know that it's not easy. And changes are for the better. If you seniors do not make the changes now, later, in the next generation, they would suffer due to the consequences that we did not face and took note of.

As a senior, I now know how to feel as I'm standing in their shoes. The shoes are tight and uncomfortable. My feet and toes and getting tired of squeezing inside the small shoes. They are sore and getting numb. However, I continue to walk, run, march in it because I had started the run for the long highway and I have to end it. Whether I die, collapse in the end, I must still continue to move on because I've put on my gears and started running.

Juniors, it's not easy to be where you are either. You are running in a marathon and there's wind and gushes. Due to the flying glasses or fragments, you get scars on your face. Due to the rocks that trip you, you scrap your knees. However, if that happens, you would always pull through, standing up and start running again, even if it means limping towards the ending. There might be bad thorough injury but heal that with your hurt but not your physical state.

I read Zaki's blog.

Sometimes, you try to do good things but you end up wondering in the prison. You tried to explain to lawyer that you are not guilty but these 'people' never understand. You tried again and this time its the same ol' story, you failed to convince them. "Goodwill?" they asked. "Are you kidding? You should have.." they continue. There will be a period of time when you get down to 'earth' and soon realised that it is no use of rebelling and fighting against something that is already final. And it is this period of time that you will feel helpless and tired of this whole thing. Why should i fight for something that is never going to be heading my way? Maybe they are too smart or too brave to even understand the meaning of goodwill.
Oh well, till next time then. For the moment, i will be at the corner of my cell waiting.. waitting for god knows what.

somethings are just not meant to be

Quoted from Zaki's blog. Lols. We are realise that now. And I'm not letting go now. Not ever until June. I'm just waiting darlings. Just like what you guys are. Waiting for us to step down. We're waiting to step down also.

Darlings, there's still a lot to learn. A lot more. Then why are you so eager? We do not want to leave you in a lurch.

And this headache of mine just refuse to stop. So nice.. hahas. And don't think we got problemS? I'm having one right now. A big one that I won't stop thinking about.

Gwen, I feel for you now. You know what you always do darling. When you're not happy, you make yourself happy and try to mask your sorrows? Right. I'm doing it now. And I know why you do it now.. I understand your reasons.

2007-02-02T20:57:00.000-08:00

Harlow people. I would have been able to update faster if my sister wasn't using my computer. However, I forgot that I can just use her laptop for all I care. I think I used a lot more times that her already. LOLs.

Anyways, about today. Or rather, yesterday. It was the class discussion about the class t shirt. The people that was in front was cai xin, celest and me. Unfortunately, you can see clearly that was class was not cooperating with us. They are exactly like my juniors. Are I am saying that they're not growing up. Yes, they're not. Some people in my class just have to form of respect for the person in front of them talking.

They just continue talking as if they are somehow in their own world. Celest and Cai Xin somehow couldn't be bothered. Cai Xin walked out of the class. Being as nice as I was, HAHAS, I didn't seem pissed. Hahas. Perhaps I was just too use to what these type of people always do. I just didn't wish to interrupt the entire fun. I have problems expressing the right emotions at the right time. It was nice to see that some people realise how the teacher have to stand there, to handle this type of class and to get their attention. Imagine, if you to stand in your teacher's shoes, how long can you last.

I can easily say this because I know how to feels like to do so. To shout for attention and to end up with no one listening to you. I always have to shout at my girls if they were to not have a sense of urgency or for any other matter. That was one part of the day. I just told my friends, 'I'm very nice one.' hahas. So fun.. But, I did shout at one point. I didn't like the feeling. Because if I shout, it's like shouting at my juniors. It's like insulting my classmates that cannot behave when they have come to same age as me and they still cannot control their mouths. I don't like the feeling. If I was shouting at my juniors, we wouldn't mind because we are more superior. But, in this case, I don't want to feel superior compared to my friends because they are of the same standard and platform as i am.

Some leaders in my class might experience this type of things when handling their cca. But, I dare to say that only a few requires for them to shout in order to get attention. Why? Because they do not see the need. Nvm.

That one only one part of the day that I went through. The other part of the day was when we went for the rehearsal for councilor investiture. I was so sad about something. It wasn't the council head thing but about the analogics thing.

The department that I was is called Analogics. It handles the gates and late coming. Previously, in the year 2004, the department was still called 'Late coming', However, at the end of the year 2004 towards 2005, it was then called Analogics. At that point of time, the job scope was gate, late coming, tie and detention class. Yes, it played a big part in the board. However, at the end of the year, in 2006, the job scope was minimized. It was to be said that Analogics had handled too much stuff and it was to be cut down and gave to another department. So, the new job scope was only gates and late coming.

During the meeting, mrf. said there was one department called the 'anal-logics' and he asked what it does and was answered by gates. And he once again pronounced it as 'anal-logics'. Then everyone laughed because they think that what he said was funny or something like that. I looked around and saw najib, kumaran, shakil. Laughing. Yes, if any of the classmate see this, by all means, tell them Because, I can't be bothered if I hurt their feelings. Because, they just did the same thing to me.

I nearly broke down inside the lt. But, I kept it down. I didn't know what to say. I was amazed at the response I was getting. I understand that if the rest were to laugh, it's ok. But, I didn't expect them to laugh. You're asking if I'm disappointed? No, honestly. I'm utterly disappointed and angry at them. If I can do it, I shall put their necks in the crooks of my hands.

Such shame I felt and yet, no one to back me up. I didn't know what to say. Hais. I was trained by Nadia. What was it you asked? It was to work with mrsd. It was to update the notice board, do the hod late coming duty list, patroling duty and many more. But, soon, we had a choice to choose which department we wanted to go to. Everyone in my class went to student liaison, t n o. However, I was the only one to choose Analogics. Why? Because I started out at gate. Gate out. They decided to respect my decision even though some people were sad. Nadia, she had hoped I go to her department but I had to choose. Therefore, I chose the road my sister went.

Somehow, I was trained under pb after some time and I did a lot of work regarding everything in the department. At that time, dc was still under us. I sacrifice a lot of my time for it. I really did. Then, it was selection for the new exco. I was nominated but I was voted out. Sad I would say. But, hey, it's my fault. Then. second time round, still nominated, but, out again. Because I was just unchoosen. Then, now, they're collapsing the system. I doubt there will be any more Analogics.

Yes, I'm upset and sad about this. But, I tell myself, I must stay strong. My journey through prefect, council was hard and tedious. Just like guides. I had setbacks. But, yes, council/prefect still live in my heart. But, now, even though there's still a fire, I don't know how long before the oxygen run out.

I saw pb today. I don't know how to tell him. How I let him down.

Anyways, I just want to tell the people of council management, you will not even be existing if it weren't for Analogics. Remember that. So, don't try to step over my head nor anyone before me. After me, you can step all you want. You know why? Cause after that, everything is going to FALL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

2007-01-28T00:31:00.000-08:00

- The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure. -

I was actually looking through the web and I saw this. I was feeling devastated today. Just do not feel like talking about it. You know sometimes when you feel sad, you just don't feel like being comforted. It's the same for me today. I just want to feel sad. Sometimes, it's good to for my mind. There's got to be a balance isn't it?

I remember there's this story I read when I was in primary school. Another man asked the man, 'why are you so happy everyday?' and the man replied, 'I look in the mirror everyday and ask, ' do I want to be happy or sad today? ' ' and he answered he wanted to be happy. Therefore, he's happy everyday.

You are the one that make the choice of being happy or sad everyday. Not anyone else. Even though something might upset you, you have a choice whether or not to be fazed by it or not. I choose not to be upset because of what I saw and read. Therefore, I will not be.

It's time to let go.. I'm not talking about guides. LOLs. It's time I don't feel pain for these type of things. The cut is getting deeper everytime and salt just kept rubbing on my wound.

CCA Open house and CME

2007-01-12T07:34:00.000-08:00

Before I go into the CCA open house, i would like to update about yesterday..

It was mainly because of CME. CME was pretty funny. Can't believe? Hahas.. The lesson was about yourself and what are your strength. Paula was sitting diagonally opposite me with hak bun beside me.. NO!!! I must say about the other thing first.. We had to tell our partner what we thought about them..

But, I didn't know why FARMER hak bun told me about himself. He said he sang better than Jay CHou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!! Idiot.. I beat him straight away.. But I had to say something else.. Then, I said I sang better than him.. I was hoping he didn't spot my mistake. Because that meant I sang better than Jay as well.. SHIT. Lols. but he was smart enough.. I was pretty stuck.. But, we just laugh it off..

Then, there were questions you're suppose to answer. It was what are your strength, how do you improve your strength and what do you do to use your strength? Paul said I(him) like to tell jokes. how to improve? read joke books. use your strength? Tell more jokes and make people laugh. LOLs. At that particular point of time, it was very hilarious..

Anyways, CCA open house was ok. I wasn't so happy about how the weather turns out. But hey, I guess we did finish our gateway.. However, we did have to tear it down on the day itself.. Well, dats all.. Nothing much I could bother myself with..

2007-01-09T05:29:00.000-08:00

Well, I could say I've obtained or rather, learned one skill and that is the immune to results be it good or bad. That means, I wouldn't be so affected and be carefree about it. Well, my beloved Juniors, let this post tell you that none of the your seniors are always very happy. We do have problems. It's just that we don't express it out too much and perhaps we can handle it. But, remember, we are not always very happy.

Today it shall be my first devastating post. I saw it coming I suppose. My mom took partial of my freedom already. I would have to report to her whatever I do every single day. She has my schedule down already. So, she expects me to be home at 4 every single day when I do not have anything at all. However, if I do have anything, I would have to call her to inform her. Well, that definitely will cover my part of the phone bill.

Even if it was last minute meeting, I would still have to inform her. About the CCA open house preparation, she wants me to call her tomorrow even though I've already told her today. I told her that I wouldn't be free the entire week. She said, then call me everyday. I guess that's where I got my partial genes from.

Well, my load for these days has increased as my friends are going to the Sec 1 camp. Enjoy yourself there. Do not regret going. You guys have already made a choice in going, make the best out of it.

These few days I've not been able to sustain my energy until 3. After that, well, let's just say my happy mode is switched off. Is that a warning? Yes, it is.

Man, I'm not surprise if she comes down to school and make havoc this year. Unbelievable? No, I wouldn't say so. Because she did it before.

2007-01-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

Let me just say this, no one has called me an idiot for a very long time. Well, no one dares to. They will only ended up getting beatings from me. That's all. Irritating if you think about it. Those who know my habits are the ones that suffer the most. They think its painful but me here don't think it's very painful.

However, I do have a technique. If you do want to learn, feel free to approach me after I leave. Hahas. You know why, I wouldn't want my tradition to die out. Anyways, today, I went into the lecture theater three times. The first one was for Malay Lesson.

When I stepped inside the place, I was pretty shock. Ok, what do you expect Haniza? It was the previous library. And your school library wasn't that big either. Yes, the lecture theater was surprisingly small. But, we do need to be grateful because we are the ones benefiting from it. After that was my Physics lessons. Mr Tan is my Idol!!! Hahas. He chao sia today again. Hahas. So funny. As usual, he said something like 'those who laugh arh, your exam marks arhs.' Which meant like a threat. But, it was very farny!!! Hahas..

Then, his lessons was great. We finished Reflection and a bit of refraction. But, there's only 2 more pages of the lecture notes. He's my Idol!! Hahas.. But, we are still way behind. Sad. He gave us homework. =) Which is not really a happy thing. But, I suppose I must do. Like DUH.

Anyways, today guides was tiring. I had very little energy. Why? I don't know. Probably because I didn't eat any rice but only bread today.. Hahas. No, I'm not dieting. Just don't feel like getting something so filling. But, I ate two burgers. Two bread. 4 siu mai. The entire day. Isn't that massive. Yupps.. hahahs..

Oh well, then we got our stairs done... =) NPCC is doing the gateway this year.. Well, I head its big. Good luck people. It will take up too much time. That's why we don't dare to build so big. We're not very free you know.. But, they do have man power. Can't be blamed.

=)

2007-01-06T01:07:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know it's pretty late since I had guides today. But, just couldn't help but post about it. Not guides but about my first day in school in year 2007.

My first lesson was with Mr Tan. As usual, I adore him to the core. He's such a nice teacher. His lessons was 2 periods. He took up half of the time telling us about what the rough sketch of what's going to happen this year. He is going to finish everything by May. He needs to do at least 15 papers with us before we sit for our prelims.

I guess that was pretty ok I guess. Then, he mentioned that probably few pf us might be involve in performance art and he understands that the school knows that both the SYF and studies is important. Then, he say must have discipline. He say when we come back from training, if tired, cannot sleep! Must complete all homework first then can sleep. This is where the mental discipline comes from.

Then he mentioned quite a few things that made us laugh. LOLs. So nice.. Then, we moved on to reflection. And people, please applaud, this coming lecture would be by Mr. Tan about Reflection. *clap* *clap* So, people from the other class watch out for my teacher!!!!

Then, went to Miss Suan's class. We had english lessons. She was as usual, very interesting, very fun. However, I didn't bring my exercise book. So, we had an extra Journal entry that is entitled: How my Cat/Dog ate my book. Something like that. Thank god it was only one page. So people, we can just bull shit. Hahas. Thanks what she said. See, she made my day as well. No, actually she continue to liven up my lovely day. =)

Ok, moving on. The rest of the subjects was neutral. It's because Mr. Tan made my day!!! Hahahahas. He must be glad that people like me *crazy* are inspired by him. Eh, even eleena said he's nice.. =) But, he can't possibly have clashes with other teachers. So, likely when other students from other classes approach him, he will still give help, but it's not a nice sight. He still helps but he won't like request to teach other classes just because you're not happy with you teacher. Sad, but you can go and see him. =) So nice.. Hahas..

Ok, i went one whole round and its still talking about him.. Hahas. Then, I had guides. Today was the most number of times we went down. Like massive loads of times. Especially with the attire.

I remembered what yik loong said. Senior mahs, so can report late. Hahas. Pretty funny if you think about it. I guess the system changes now. Last time is teacher come to classroom, so, as students we wait. Now, we have the homeroom system. Now, it's the teacher that has to be there at all times when the juniors or students come. See the difference.. Huh..

However, by doing this, this is giving the people more face as these people stroll in to class and gets affected by certain things on the way like going to the toilet of talking with their friends. This in turn affects the time that can be used to teach a small portion of a chapter that can mean a lot to the entire year. Mr Tan said we're 1 term behind for physics. Probably 1/5 of the time was taken up by us strolling in to class and going to toilet at any point of time. So, is the system really beneficial?

However, the system does have its advantages. Things such as giving the students a breather as they walk in order to take mini breaks in the midst of all the rushing school activities. Thats the only advantage I can think of. Yes, I'm not the supporter of it.. Hahas.. =) People. You owe me assignments.. Please them up.. And I owe teachers assignments as well. Hahas.

2007-01-05T00:35:00.000-08:00

I'm finally done with my guides stuff. Yes, there was more than those that I've done during the afternoon. Just now, me and ellis had to fill in the PNA form. So sian.. But, what to do.. It's our job after all. I'm going to sleeping soon. Tomorrow, I'm going to school but I'm only feeling slightly better. My voice is still not up to par. But, what can I do?

And I misplaced my guides t shirt. LOLs. Too bad. Then, I asked ellis for my t shirt. But, she can't find her other t shirt. Then, she's going to borrow from Eugenia lau.. =) Thank god..

I'm so tired already. I think I will turn in. This is the second time when I'm actually trying my best to fight the medicine. It's making me very weak and I will tremble slightly. They are making me sleep. But, now I'm sleepy. Not very. Because the peak of it ended.. I guess. RANDOM. Hahas..

Nights people.

2007-01-04T01:37:00.000-08:00

I just did some guides things for the juniors. Did the write up for CCA open house and did the write up for miss suan.. I'm very tired now.. Because I'm suppose to sleep but I force myself to do these things before I sleep. LOLs. Because I scared later there wouldn't be sufficient time. But, I think I'm going to sleep after this. The medicine is very strong. Hais..

I just got phlegm that's green colour and flu mucus greenish yellow. EEWWWW. Hahas.. But, I'm feeling slightly better compared to the shortage of breath and all. Took MC today... =) LOLs. 2nd day of school and mc liaos.. Terrible.. But can't help it. I misplaced my time table. Now need to photocopy again.. Lols. I know my teachers already.. They're Mrs Ng. Lols. Didn't expect it to be her.. But, it's ok I guess.

My neighbour is actually a bowenian as well. They just moved in, remember? The one that makes massive amount of noise. Well, I never seen them before.. But, I shall see whether I'll see her when I go out of my house in the morning.. Ok, I need to prepare some things for guides tomorrow. =) BUAISZZ... Hahas.. bb'.

2007-01-02T05:54:00.000-08:00

Harlow.. =) Great news!!!
Today I've received my poster from illustrious.. Hahas.. =)

That's my poster.. =) For my story.. It pretty great. The artist was grey shadow.. Initially I wanted Lorena to do it.. But, too bad.. Hahas.. Can't really choose who I want. Then, next one is I'm getting the EP for Curse of the golden flower.. Under Jay.. LOLs> That's because inside got all the MVs. So must get.. =)

Heir heir heir.. =) I went to the library the other day.. I only read 1 book finish.. LOLs> I'm going to miss you Eugenia Lau!!! When you go to US.. =( SO random of me..

I watched the movie already.. Well, I've got to say that Jay Chou's acting has improve tremendously.. please applause.. *applause*. Thank you.. Then, the movie has great colours and very unique costumes. The movie is gory.. So it seem. It has loads of killing. And the ending was somewhat hanging. =) But, nonetheless. It was worth it.. Hahas.. In the end he killed himself!!! Hais.. So sad..

In the end the empress has no son.. The first one to die was the eldest, then the youngest. Then, Jay Chou.. After he died, then the story ended.. And please applaud for the great theme song. 'Ju hua Tai'. Nice, soothing song. =)

And I have to admit, I'm not feeling so well right now. Therefore, when I get my sore throat, cough and flu. I'm always getting ready for something bigger. Yes, my sore throat went to cough and flu. Now, I can't breathe properly.. Hais.. Sad life.. Ellis ask me to drink more water.. Thank you darling.. I've had enough water..

Hey, have u guys had a cough or sore throat so bad that if you guys had water that is not warm, you'll guys cough or vomit.. ?? My mom always had that.. Today me and her were not feeling well. So sad.. So, to you people out there. Take care of your health. And it amaze me how many flu viruses there are.. Cause everytime you got a flu. Its a new virus.. Can you count how many flu you've had since you were a child. LOLs> See ya, me now trying to write my another chapter..

2007-01-01T03:13:00.000-08:00

Hey!
Lets talk about the past events that had happen..

Beginning of the year it started out from Debate for me..
The malay..
We won in the end.. =)

Then, we did our flag etiquette.
We started practice around February..
I did the flag practice for 3 times.. Cock up a few times..
See, no one's perfect..
Did student initiated thing..
I read back my post,
I said that I was familiar with the procedure because
I helped them out previously..
When I hadn't join Guides yet..

And we helped sec 2s in marching?
Didn't remember..
Knew Krit ard there as well.. Hahas..
I said he was a nice guy.. Hahas.. So weird..

Ok, then next post, I was sad about my life..
See how ungrateful I was!!!
Hahas.. I said I need to do laundry last time..
Now, I'm still reluctant..
But, some children don't even have enough clothes to wash!
And that post, I was slightly angry with my parents...

Next post around 15 feb..
Failed my test.. I tink it's e maths..
I mention the last part of my post, that I hope it won't be a trend as it goes down the year..
I guess it did slightly..
I complained about HW a lot.. Hahas..
I was talking about an organizer.. Said I wasn't organized.. Now's better I guess..

Thn, next post after I came back from camp, it was 25.2.06..
I mention about mount panti being an achievement for me..
I guess it wasn't my only achievement now..
Then, abt my instructor calling me the mother.. Hahas..
2nd fav camp.. =)

Next post, march... 3/10 to be exact..
I mention about the audition.. Which one? The chinese competition?
I don't remember..
Then, it was a sad post.. =( But, I said I felt like killing myself.. LOLS>
At that point of time, I seem to be very involve in guides already..
I mention that I was busy there..

I remember what audition already.. It wasn't the chinese one.. My next post explains it..
It was the SYF selection.. Hahas..
I said there was a selection.. Busy week.. 3/17
So accurate..
I was not confident at the 2nd selection.. But, oh boy, we were definitely better than them now..
I mention that I would go out.. LOLS.
I also was in a bad picture with Sophia that time..
That day was when we sorted out our problems..
Hahas.. So childish..
And not to be mention, the SP practice for the campfire..

The next post was about the SP campfire.
I talked about us making a name by winning the best performance..
Well, Now it's no big thing..
I even mention that SP would help us with the gateway..
My foot.. Hahas.. In the end they didn't really.. Except for clement.. If I'm not wrong..

The next one was 2 days before my birthday..
And Ellis and Gwen was at odds with each other..
And I was sad the fact that I didn't bother about my birthday..
Because I was too tired..

Then, the day of the central judging for Bowen..
I got scolded LOADS of times..
First was by LION because I made an announcement..
And who asked me to say the announcement???
That bitch of course..
Then, James scolded me also when I took care of her class..

Next post was 27/4..
It was another sad post..
My parents threaten to go down to school..
The first time..
Just because of the walkaton card...
All these memories wasn't so nice..

The next post wasn't so encouraging either..
It was about my results..
Not much details..
But, also about the campfire.. And it being very tedious..
Number of words for that post: 1, 123..

Next post was another sad one..
Abt my results in details..
Then, about me being better than sister, supposedly.

The next one is already in may.. Wasn't so devastating..
It was not so lively nor sad..
Now, My post got more monotonous..
It was about SYF contingent in the academy..

The next post was me talking about ellis..
I was pissed at her at that time..
I didn't know who I was talking about until I read on..
Why I was pissed at her?
Because she was not sensitive about what I cannot eat..
She said why I everything also cannot eat..
Yupps, more I think about it, the more angry it gets.. Lols..
And I had a bad cold, cough, sore throat and asthma was back.. Obviously my mood was bad..

Ok, my next post was still angry..
Still about elle..
I think ellis read my post at that point of time..
I'm surprise how my post sounded so matured.. Hahas..
Then, I was talking abt her supposedly shouldn't change just for the sake of others..

Moving on..
And me was still sick..
Next post was around end of may..
I talked about me watching xing nian shi ba shui..=)

Next post, I was still sick..
It was about me, gwen, elle and shu xian.. Who got stuck in the dent..
Hahas.. Because Eugenia tan and jennifer lock us in...
It was a very memorable experience.. Pity Wan ru went home earlier..

Then, next post was about Sg idol..
Then, me taking the BB spars..
One male. one female..
At first..
then, one more male came along.. hahas..

Then, it was about my PLTC camp..
I said that it was worth it perhaps..
SO, the question is, was it really.
The answer is yes, about all the stuff we learn there.
It was brought back to us..
All the theories to the practical of the campfire..
It was all learnt..
I really appreciated the fact that me and ellis was sent there..
Then, I complained that some people there were arrogant..
Perhaps..

Next post was sad..
It was me being sick of everything..

Next post, I didn't even touch on june campfire..
hahas.. talked about wad happen in school after that..
And that meant all the work needed to be completed..
then about michael scolding us.. LOLS.

Next post was me not going to walkaton.. =( so sad..
I didn't go due to stomach pain..
Hahas..

Ok, the nxt post i talked in malay.. Hahas..

next post was about mr tan.. hahas.. again
then, i said about racial harmony day..

Next one was us going out together watching lake house..

Next one was still about mr tan. hahas..
It's about me asking the question and he recorded down the tine..
hahas.. So hilarious,,

Ok. next few post.. I cant be bother go in details.. But, in conclusion, I could only say that in e beginning part of the year, I was feeling devastated all the time.. But now, I'm beginning to feel immune to things.. I always let my feelings show in the beginning.. Then, as time goes by, I think I went immune to things and didn't care much about things around me.. Thats when I grew ignorant about stuff.. However, I guess it has its advantages right now..I pick and choose stuff I want to hear.. Things that I would want to forget might be forgotten..

I have a more positive and grateful posts at the later part of the year which meant I was more grateful of life.. I guess that was because I started to do volunteering work and saw the other side of life that i should be grateful that I had and others who are not so fortunate doesn't get to obtain that easily.. So to say, I grown more matured over the months and it has perhaps benefited me in some way..

I'm just glad to say that 2006 was a great year for me.. There had been loads of downs.. But, at the end of it all, it was all worth it.. We all might be thinking all the time that we had been striving very hard.. But hey, look where we are now darlings..

It was all worth it at the end of the rocky ride.. I've known people through this year.. And deepen my understanding a bout others. =) And on the eve of new year even saw some one old nt new. and he's going to hell.. Trust me.. Hahas.. Nights people..

Suffocating slightly...

2006-12-28T05:37:00.000-08:00

It's not easy to be me..
Wish that I could fly..
But I fall upon my knees..

I'm finally suffocating.
I wasn't for the past few days.
But I finally am.
The feelings not so great.

I don't feel like waking up tomorrow.
It dreads to wake up from my bed.
It would mean doom.

Now, I really ask. Are we really going to remain the famous 5?
Are we?
It would be pretty contradicting if someone were to say yes.

Its a depressing thought I suppose.
I finally feel tired.
Am I going to lead my life like this?
is this going to continue?

People say I must be strong.
However, am I strong enough to face the ordeals the next day.
Am I going to dread my job every single day.
With the mindset of not letting anyone know what I'm doing at hm.
Which is a secrete thing to do.

I wonder how I even went through things last time.
Now, my senior is not happy with things.
HEY, let me tell you something.
Try doing all the planning we're doing right now.
See whether you're VERY FREE OR SOMETHING>

and what am i BUSY WITH?
LET ME TELL U. IM BUSY WITH MY BUSY LIFE.
GOT IT? SO DONT ASK US TO DO SOMETHING THAT MIGHT NOT BE POSSIBLE>
BE GRATEFUL AND DUN ASK FOR MORE>
LETS SEE HOW MY BATCH FAREWELL IS GOING TO BE HUH

Count ur Blessings.

2006-12-25T21:10:00.000-08:00

I just finished cooking rice just now..
It's for dinner.. We're eating lauk lemak with ayam goreng and ulam..(Kacang botol)..
Hmmm, now my sis is frying the chicken..

Something or rather, someone made my day.. hahas..
I was actually just joking.. I didn't expect you to take me seriously.. Lols..
Nonetheless, Thank you!! Hahas..
That's my third thanks today already.. Lols..

Ok, let's count our blessings people..
This is the day when you count your blessings..

"Waitin' at a stop light yesterday
As a funeral procession made its way,
Through the gates.
I watched it roll up a winding road,
Through a field of green with white headstones,
All in a row.
And it made me think about where I'm at,
On my not so straight and narrow path...
All the generous and mostly undeserved,
Blessings that I've had.

I had an all-American Mom and Dad,
Some of the coolest friends you could ever have.
Found love I thought I'd never find...
Sometimes I can't believe this life is mine.
And I'm not plannin' on leavin' yet,
But the truth is, you just never know,
An' if this is as good as it gets,
Man, I think I'm good to go,
I'm good to go."

This song was introduced to me by Wan ru and eugenia lau..
You should count the number of blessing we have..
And start realising that we are very fortunate..
therefore, fulfill your responsibilities right now..
It may be hard.. But, Take a step at a time..
At some point of time,
You'll reach the targetted spot..

"I've hit the mark and missed by miles."
- Jason Aldean, Good to go..

Hahas.. I think thats cool.. Well, I'll be like, at least I've tried my best..
I got 2 christmas cards. Receiving 2 more tml.. hahas.. Man, I'm feeling super guilty..
I'm not doing anything for these people..
Oh well, then, I'm not the sort as well.. Letters, yes.. But, not cards..
Never bother to afford one..
Can never draw nicely.. Lols..
So how?
Let's just see then..

Tomorrow, there's meeting for the farewell..
SIAN.. But, nvm.. It's due to the seniors who have done a job for a while..
Ok, that sounds pretty blunt.. But, hey, there was only a few who did their job truthfully..
It's a fact, and wouldn't deny it..

Ok, I'm going off already.. =)
MERRY CHRISTMAS>>

7th Heaven, Jas visit and Da Chang Jin.

2006-12-24T23:35:00.000-08:00

Yupps. Nice? I hope it's ok.. I won't be changing it for pretty long again.. =)
However, something made me change to this type.
It's due to the amount of space for the writing..
Actually I got the same person who did up Eugenia Lau's blogskin..
I found hers was very spacious.. and can't help but find myself feeling envious..
Oh well, I guess that's normal human reaction.
Once they want something, they will try to get it..

I learn something in 7th Heaven today..
'People look for something they want and not something they have'
The things that we have, we neglect and do not appreciate it..
Not only that, we want things that might not even be useful nor needed..
When we have so much things at hand, why do we need more things that is not necessary...?
Isn't that true?

After that, I watched the taped one.. Cause I wasn't at home in the morning..
Where was I?
I was with elle, wan ru, eleena, gwen, Eugenia lau and bary. <<<>Milks' a Milking.
7 Swans' a swimming.
6 geese a laying.
5 Golden Rings.
4 Calling birds.
3 French Hens.
2 Turtle doves.
and A partridge in a pear tree.

After that, we head to marina square to eat.. I ate this chicken grilled.. Lols.. Quite ok I guess..
Then, the rest ate like ramen.. Then, as usual, Eugenia didn't finish her rice.. lol..

Then, we went back.. Sent Ellis and Wan ru first..
Wan ru went down the same bus stop as her.. Cause she was heading towards toa payoh... Then, went we were turning out of potong pasir.. Eleena touched Wan ru's hp..
So, eugenia stopped at the bus stop and eleena waited at the bus stop to tell the bus driver to stop cause our friend inside and bla bla bla.. I then, went down to accompany her.. It was rainning that time.. However, we couldn't be bothered to take out an umbrella..

Unfortunately, I just realized that 142, the bus wan ru taking, was not going to pass that particular bus stop.. So, I started called ellis who was supposedly with her.. We ran to the previous bus stop in the rain..

Then, ellis said that she had already board the bus.. Me and eleena waited for the bus come to that particular bus stop..
then, the bus came and me and eleena sigh in relief.. Then we saw her on the bus and asked her to come down.. And she did.. We were like, go back to the that same exit lar..
She said it's ok.. Cause she got bus pass..
Then, we went back to the car that side which was 2 minutes walk.. Then, I called wan ru to reprimand her.. Hahas..

Fortunately, she said she very touched.. hahas.. But, as I said to eleena, this was the most exciting that happened to me today.. Hahas..

Then, I went towards home already.. When I reached home, hang around teh computer for a while..
Then, watched tv.. Jasmine called me and msg me.. I found it weird but couldn't be bothered..

After that, around 5 plus, she actually called me askign me to go down my house.. Then, I go out lor.. She was actually outside my house that side.. DIAOS>>
Then, they wanted to use toilet.. bla bla bla..
Then, we talked pretty long.. until 6. 30.. Jia xuan and yan ling actually dropped by also.. So, we talked pretty long.. yupps..

After that, at 7. 30, I watched my Da Chang Jin.. hahas. VEry nice.. =)
And LOrd Min got promoted.. And Lian Sheng got pregnant!!! Hahas.. ok, I know all this before.. But, its nice to watch again.. Hahas.. okok, I;m going le.. stink stink.. Hahas..

MERRY CHRISTMAS>>

Reality's Harsh

2006-12-23T09:29:00.000-08:00

Harlow...
I guess life's hard..
Reality is harsh too..
They said we cried because of our friendship..
It's true..
But, it's so disheartening to see it that way..
Reality was never nice in the first place..

And here I am, in a tight position...
Not only that,
when I need someone to lean on..
I need that person to know my situation first..
Well, it's hard..
Sometimes, it's hard to explain in words..
Sometimes, I'm so tired of explaining..
However, when you want it to let out, you need to tell them everything...
Sometimes, I'm not even sure what I'm talking about..
Especially now. Lols..

Sometimes I don't need advice..
I just need a shoulder to lean on..
that's all I'm looking for....
I let out things a lot..
but that doesn't mean i need advice..
I'll only ask for it if i need it..

I'm desperate right now...
desperate for?
I do not know...
I don't feel like doing anything..
But, my everyday is filled with activities..

And i just realise something..
When i've got nothing better to do..
I'll think..
And that doesn't mean the good things..
It's true wad sx said.. Don't think.. cause if u do, it will only be bad..
negative thoughts it seems..

I'm not going to tell my parents.. I guess it wun be very nice for them to find out..
But, it's hard..
If they find out, I don't know what they will do..
Hais.. The pressure is on I guess..
But, bring it on.. We'll face it together..
We'll still be the famous 5, right?

Aries + Taurus

2006-12-13T01:54:00.000-08:00

You Should Be An Aries

What's good about you: you're fearless about taking charge and grabbing the spotlight

What's bad about you: if you're annoyed, you're not going to hide it!

In love: you jump in quickly and don't mind risking your heart

In friendship, you're: likely to have a new best friend each month

Your ideal job: detective, butcher, or surgeon

Your sense of fashion: ultra trendy and sexy

You like to pig out on: appetizers, especially buffalo wings

What Sign Should You Be?

You are 73% Aries

How Aries Are You?

You are 73% Taurus

How Taurus Are You?

Contradicting huh? I'm both Aries and Taurus. It's because I'm in between.. =)

Your Birthdate: April 20

You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move.
It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone.
Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4

You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.
You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.
Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.
But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical.

With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you

In love: You are picky but passionate

To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

What's Your Dosha?

Updated Events

2006-12-11T05:12:00.000-08:00

Ok, I've been pretty busy. Can to hell with the update of EOY camp.. no one's updating.. why should I right?

Felicia's Birthday

Anyways, there's loads more of other stuff to share with you guys.. =) last monday, we went to Feli Lim house to celebrate her birthday. We had fun.. However, some people tried to act cool there.. Goodness, so irritating.. You know those games.. Like bang bang, or the dumb dumb game. Oh well, their pretty dumb and they gave up so easily. Well, not really. No one really bothered about me.. So leng!!!!!!!!

They were like, 'I catch no ball'. Goodness.. Probably your balls wasn't so potent. Lols. JK. Then, the rest go pang sei me.. Don't know go where. But, when they came back, I flew in their arms. Couldn't stand the atmosphere. They were my primary schoolmate as well. Irritating..Then, we started the fire and all.. So cool.. I learnt a few things on how to start fire le.. Hahas. I wasn't so hungry that day so, kept doing the food for them instead. Then, my face. yar, sauna.. Hahas. But, it was a good experience.. I think one of the bets things was murderer. =)

We played it and it turned out ok. Hahas. They tried to imitate W. So weird.. hahas. But, hilarious.. Definitely. Then, when I got the murderer, well, I learnt my lesson.. so, I kinda killed a lot.. hahas. Not easy to guess.. Hahas.. After that, cut the cake.. Took picture.. =) Went home.. walked myself.. =) eunice accompany me a while until at the park.. Then, go myself.. =) The rest was sent by eugenia..

MOVE ON!

Guides Chalet

Before we checked in, we went to school to get things from the guides dent... ILLEGAL!!! But, oh well.. No one is using it anyway.. We took a few stuff.. Then, I kinda forgot a few things from home.. Hahas.. Then, we went to Sheng Siong to buy all of the stuff. We got hotdogs.. Eugenia tan followed us so that she can choose what she want since she is a Vegetarian now. Well, truth to be told, her part of the food went overbudget.. Mushrooms, hotdog, prawn. Oh well, I still haven't sorted out the money..

We went back to my house. Eleena and I changed.. Then, took stuff from my house.. Then, I forgot another thing as well!!!!! Lols.. I can be very forgetful. So, we decided to ask the rest to bring instead... Then, we check in... Stayed a while.. Then, me eugenia lau and eleena went and fetch ellis and gwen..

moving on.. Then,I marinate the Chicken and stuff. Some peeps help me with the putting in sticks.. ELlis arhs.. you put the stick in the hotdog so nan kan.... Hahas.. go and practice.. After that, I did up things for Eugenia mushrooms. I thought she knew how to cook it!!!!!! But, unfortunately, she don't know how to!!!!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!! Panic panic.. Obviously not.. I put vegetarian oysters sauce for her with mushrooms cut... That was one.. Can't possibly everything do like that mahs!!! Then, the other one put chilli with oyster.. Some say the other one nicer.. Some say the other one nicer.. Lols..But, I'm pretty satisfied lar arhs..

Then, MOVING ON.. We went out to the beach to play play.. A while.. Then, kept writing on the sand.. took pictures and bla bla bla.. Then, Went back.. we barbecued marshmallow.. Hahas.. Then, stayed on until 11. 00.. Then, Eugenia lau send us home..

NEXT DAY, we came back at 5 am plus.. Well, in the morning.. I was hurt.. I came down in a hurry.. Everyone was in a hurry.. I didn't even comb my hair.. Eugenia's door was open. Then, she said hurry up to me. Well, why do I respect my elders so much? If I didn't have that restriction, I would have scream at her face. Well, I was angry hurt and depress. Well, I was mentally hurt.. Hais.. Kept quiet in the car.. Nothing to say... If I did, I don't know whether I'll flare up or sound sad.. Im so emotional.. Well, you can just summarise that my morning was spoilt.. Then, we went to escape.. Played played played..

Went into Haunted house.. Then, at first we were pretty alarmed by the darkness. Actually eleena and shu xian suppose to go in front first.. Followed by ellis and me.. But then, when we went inside, eleena and shu xian. back out to the middle. So, me and elle.. Then, well.. I didn't know what to do.. Panicking already..Then, moved forward.. move until 1 quarter of the journey.. Then, there was this black cloth, uncut.. Me and ellis. Well, we didn't know what was anticipating there.. So, we didn't dare.. So, we stopped.. Freaking out.. Then, wan ru took over me.. So, I was now in the middle.. Actually, eugenia lau wanted to go out le.. But then, everyone wanted to continue... We didn't want to chicken out and let everyone see.. So, she followed us.. With the guy behind us.. We actually sang all the way!!!!!!!!! Hahas.. all guides song.. At the top of our lungs.. Hahas..

Came out.. What a relief!!! hahas.. The guy behind us who was the worker was laughing at us.. HAHAs.. Kinda funny if you think about it.. Then,we played stuff..

Went to viking.. I went up 3 times.. hahas.. Still kinda ok.. can still walk and live.. Shu xian who ride 2 times, vomitted.. Lols.. But, fuN!!!!!!!!!! Rainbow was fun too.. saw changi air port.. Then, we didn't play go-kart and 360 degrees.. 360 wasn't available.. So, kinda sad.. go kart wasn't so short queue.. Hahas..

Then, we went to play wild wild wet.. played like 2 times i tink.. goodness.. I was at the back both times.. and well.. it didn't turn out well.. wet than anyone else.. Then, I Actually wanted to cycle after that.. But, my body didn't allow.. So, did the rest.. So, we ate our lunch and went home..

Actually I preferred to go home with wan ru and ellis.. BUT, eugenia lau was sending tan so, might as well go right... So near.. diaos.. Hais.. So much for my good intention..

Then, went back and slp.. hahas.. so nice.. su fu!!!

Flag Day for Bright_vision_hospital

Yes, I participated in it with the bright ugly yellow t shirt.. hahs.. it was on saturday... started out in the morning.. at 8 am.. as usual.. me, late.. eleena later.. gwendaline.. latest!!! She came at 9 like dat.. she forgot.. thats why.. LOLS.. she slept since 5 yesterday lar!!! Oh well. Then, move on.. briefing.. bla bla bla bla.. ppl from ngee ann poly joined us.. so, there was the staff, ngee ann, bowen and public ppl.. Quite a lot lar arhs.. my group was allocated to toa payoh.. Moved on.. I was with gwendaline. And my area had Louis with us.. Then, the shopping mall that side got Joseph, cherilyn and charmaine.. quite fun.. Then, we went around ask ask ask... Hais..

We can see the different side of people from here.. Let me tell you. The couple MIGHT donate.. some might not.. The ones with the babies and children, will.. except for the very sophisticated ones.. Then, couples.. the rich couples.. don't ever approach.. you know why? So snobbish!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't stand them.. Then, this kind hearted man.. He was my first 2 dollars.. He opened a shop there you know the row of shops opposite ya kun.. there.. He works at the ginseng shop.. =) Then, he asked me what it was about and all. Explain liao. Then, he gave me 2 bucks.. =) so nice..

Got a few more gave 2 bucks.. Then, there was this woman.. She had cancer.. Her head was bald I saw it behind the hat.. Then, she asked me what it was about.. She gave me 5 bucks... woah.. So nice.. Probably.. she understands better.. =) Then, got a few more gave 2 bucks..

There were rejections.. The people in that area were weird.. I moved around like some idiot.. and people were rejecting me.. when I asked someone in a crowd, you can see the crowd disperse as if I have a disease.. HOW depressing!!! Singaporeans.. I tell you, if someone ask me to donate, I will if I have money with me.. argh.. stupid barbarians.

Then, went back at 3 plus.. Talked with elle in mac for a few minutes.. like 1 hour.. Then, there was this boy lost.. char, cher, joseph and louis told us.. and we went and search for the boy with a tigger shirt.. hais.. found.. He was autistic so, he had difficulties communicating..

I went back at 5 like that.. Then, had dinner..

My mommy birthday that day.. She treat the entire family.. We ate yam basket, fish bla bla bla.. it was hundred plus in total.. ok lar. normal..

Bowen Drama club

yes, it was on a sunday.. it was a performance for the seniors and all at NAFA.. Their performance was nice.. I thought the best was the sec 4s performance and witches' puppet.. THe one wirh manges, ju, shikin, amanda, this unknown girl and ruben.. That two performance was my liking..

Well, you can really see the difference of the juniors. How they acted and how the seniors are.. there was a level higher of competency every age difference.. The seniors was really seniors.. as they had more experienced compared to the juniors.. =) Very well done.. The seniors cried when the juniors put up a little something.. LOLS. Eleena, touched.. cried a little. LOLS.

Then, we went back to bugis mac. Talked about things.. Well, to me, the J are boot licking.. lols.. after that.. we headed to the hospital.. went and see eugenia lau wish child.. The entire ward was actually cancer patients.. Hais.. The situation was overwhelming.. Eleena cried when she say this baby. She/He was only 1 and halve year old.. =( She/He was crying non stop.. hais.. so sad..

Then, eugenia sent us back le.. =)

I'll tell u about the wild wild wet another day..

Personality Stuff?

2006-12-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

I saw this at yikloong's blog and thought I should tried it out.. hahas.. =)

You Are 58% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person.
But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper.
And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful.
You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

You Are 5: The Investigator

You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker.

You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does.

Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.

You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.

What Number Are You?

Your Brain is 67% Female, 33% Male

Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times...
You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings
Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?

You Are Death

You symbolize the end, which can be frightening.
But you also symbolize the immortality of the soul.
You represent transformation, rebirth of a new life.
Sweeping away the past is part of this card, as painful as it may be.

Your fortune:

Don't worry, this card does not predict death itself.
Instead it foreshadows the ending of an era of your life, one that is hard to let go of.
But with the future great new things will come, and it's time to embrace them.
Mourn for a while, but then face the future with humility and courage.

What Tarot Card Are You?

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth.

You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around.

You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking

How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Your Scholastic Strength Is Evaluating

You are great at looking at many details and putting them all together.
You are talented at detecting subtle trends, accuracy, and managing change.

You should major in:

Statistics
Speech
Conflict studies
Communication
Finance
Medicine

What Should You Major In?

You Are 42% Perfectionist

No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect.
Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up!

Are You a Perfectionist?

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 80%

Greed: 60%

Sloth: 60%

Wrath: 60%

Gluttony: 40%

Pride: 40%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 49%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How Sinful Are You?

EOY Camp

2006-12-01T20:57:00.000-08:00

Harlow. I'm here to tell you guys all about the EOY camp

that all of us had attended.
I do have to realize that the attendance
wasn't that encouraging at first.
In fact, all of us wasn't happy.
The teachers as well.
However, the show has to go on.
There's no point brooding over all these..

Ok, first day, we had games and more games to keep people going.
We did introduction with Miss Chua start the all rolling.
She asked us what did we want to achieved out of coming to this camp.
Of course all us said our piece.
Then, we moved on to Manito.
We decorated our envelopes and told everyone what it said about us.
Then, after that, we had Patrol identity did decorated T-Shirts.

The GiFteDs

Click

7-Eleven

Unfortunately, this particular activity was the one that drag everything down.
We were late for loads of activities and
some was canceled due to this one.
Punctuality was very important to me. But,
speak for myself. Hahas.
Too bad.
Oh well, we were suppose to play H2O but, canceled.
Then, we moved on to captain's ball.
Played quite long. Very tiring.
Sheena joined us for the game and she blocks very well because she's tall.
Then, when I started the ball wizard was always there.
And she kept telling me stuff which I probably didn't want to hear.
What do you think?
I had to concentrate on the game.
Michelle was fast blocking. She moved around the court a lot.
What do we expect. She was a Net Ball player.
Then, we had elevenses.

We played Key Punch.
With the mats from India. My group had a strategy up our sleeve.
We played and won first.
1. Gifted.
2. 7-Eleven
3. Click

We moved on to blind square. It was tough.
But, I guess communication was important.
It might be hard for the others who had the threeos with them.
Because communication can break down.
1. Click
2. Gifted
3. 7-Eleven

We then had lunch. Most of them couldn't finish.
And, it was CURRY! hahas.
We teased Ellis and Gwen and about it.

Gadgets was next in line.
I didn't take the pictures but it was pretty nice..
hahas. We did shoe rack and clothesline.

I'll continue after my com comes back... =(

Despair

2006-11-27T08:24:00.000-08:00

I guess life doesn't want to be fair with us. I feel despair at what my juniors are doing to me, to us. They might not feel our difficult situation. But, all of us know it very well. I don't understand what's going on their head.
I just don't know how cruel they can get. They're ruining me in every single step they take. Why are they so intent on tearing down the wall that I've build over the years? The wall of determination. I really do not wish to give up on them. But, they're really forcing me to, forcing us to. Some of us did give up. But, I don't believe they cannot be moved. But, I think I'm about to be proved wrong.
They're so heartless, I guess. I hope that they would not hurt others like they've hurt us like this. I hope they would change before they go out to the real world. Cause if they do now, I do not know how I will find out how I fail as a senior. As a mentor, who's suppose to be teaching them the right path in life. We've tried our best. So, if we give up on you guys, I really hope you can forgive us. But, don't force us to. We really don't wish to. Not now.
We've been holding on to a hope of miracle for so long now. For months, we held on to the hope we had, the little confidence we had in you guys. However, not once did all of us thought of giving up on you guys totally. NEVER. Some might disagree and some might agree, but, some people would still held on to the faith.
However, are you going to abandon us? Are you going to make us beg on our knees? Do you want to see us break down in front of you guys? Am I willing to see this company that we're beginning to build to drop? Am I? Are you guys?

Quotes

2006-11-22T02:13:00.000-08:00

I've got something new. Hahas. Well, I've been watching 'kim sam soon' every single day now. I'm not neglecting my other stuff though. Just doing breaks. Like these. Oh well, one part of the story was really the ending part where she was waiting for the bus. Then, at the side of the bus stop. There was these sign board. It actually said a few things:

love like you've never hurt before
by alfred d. suja
dance like no one's watching
love like you've never hurt before
sing like nobody's listening
work like you don't need money
live like you're on heaven on earth
assume today is the last day.

Then, sam soon actually said: I want to change the one part which as 'love like you've never hurt before. She wanted to change it to: 'Don't love unless you want to be hurt' Hmmm, if you remember, one of the days, my nick was something like that. =) Interesting huh?

Anyways, true, red is very glaring.. hahas..

Cheesy Lines

2006-11-19T23:16:00.000-08:00

U know.. I was just looking through the web for love quotes for my story's poster. Yupps. I've a new story. Check it out. Do not try to criticize me. If you do, do give constructive ones. www.winglin.net/fanfic/alice6

It was a very new one for me. Well I have had other stories but this may be the best one, for the time being. Oh well, as I was saying, I saw some pick up lines. Like oh my god. Do guys do that? It's seriously very erm, how do I say it? Common? Here's some of it:

Do u have a band aid? Cause I've just scraped my knee falling for you...
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] ... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long.
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do
exist.

Yupps, guys can be really weird.. Lols.. Pretty horrifying. Fancy a guy saying that to you. I'll be like: 'Is this your idea of a pick up line? Cause its not working" It's far too cheesy. Yupps. That's the word.

However, there were some nice nice love quotes:

Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!

That is of course the common line from Moulin Rouge. Hmmm, never seen it before? You should. One of the greatest love movie I've watched. Another one from the movie:Which is my Favourite of all!!!

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Yupps, isn't that the nicest thing ever. It made the most impression to me at the end of the movie when the male lead sang Come what may. The nicest song!! hahas..

"It is better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all." - Alfred Lord Tennyson
"Love is something eternal, The aspect may change, But not the essence." - Vincent Van Gogh
"No man is truly married Until he understands Every word his wife is NOT saying." - Author Unknown
"It's not that I can't live without you, It's that I don't even want to try." - Source Unknown

Have you ever been in love? I haven't. Well, don't wish to know now. We must know our priorities. That's what my dad always say.. And obviously you know it is. Sometimes, it's hard to fulfill things that way. =) We all know it is. But we don't have a choice, do we? Life's that way. =) Why, it seems that I've become a passionate poet. Hahas. So it seems.

I'm currently waiting for my poster to be done. Working on another chapter. Hope it will turn out nice.. =) Bye guys.. =)

Chennai and China

2006-11-13T19:47:00.000-08:00

They're gone to Chennai, India. I already miss them. It's already been 2 days. On the day that we sent them off, there was Wan Ru, Shu Xian, Eleena and Eugenia Lau. We actually started off the day by going to the Wish thing. It's an organization that grants wishes for Cancer patients. We had a party for this girl who wanted a Laptop. She draw also. We invited Catherine. Not really though. Gwen asked Catherine to come in replace for her. Catherine draws very nicely!! Hahas. I really enjoyed the day. But, I had menstrual cramps though... =)

Then, we went to Shu XIan house to eat and Slack. hahas.. then, we set off for the air port. When we reached, we didn't see Gwen and Elle. Then, like 10 minutes later, We saw Gwen, then, Ellis came. Then, Eleena and me. were pretty emotional in the car. =) We shed a tear or two. But, when we reached there, I was feeling damn stable. Eleena was still shaky. Shu xian, wan ru and Eugenia was trying to get away from both of us. In case, they get affected as well. Then, Ellis went over and talk to her brothers.

Then, I went over to her and asked her what she said to her bros. She told them to take care. Ok, when she said take care, I do not know what came over me, but, I started sobbing real hard. And burst into tears. Loads of them. I could feel my entire face sour. =( *sniff* *sniff* Then, I went over to them. Eleena started crying also. =( Hais.. I guess my face had that look of just finish crying for the entire time. cause people looked at me. EVen Miss Suan tell me don't look like that unless I have running nose. LOLS. Oh well, it wasn't a pretty sight.

Then, they left. We kept saying goodbyes... Then, we were pretty much the giggling group. We did our taps before they went in. =( Hais.. They were scolded by the teachers a few times.. cause they're the slowest. Hahas.. =) Such memories we shared..

This coming week, Shu Xian and wan ru is leaving.. =( hais.. then, it will be Eugenia, Eleena and me. Eugenia is havin Exams.. so, I do not know whether she'll be a common. But, mi and eleena would have to do a lot of work.. =( hais.. Miss chua, please have mercy on us.. =)

Day out with Jasmine

2006-11-08T06:40:00.000-08:00

Heir heir heir.. Jasmine asked mi to change my blog skin. She said it's been so long. Hahas.. Oh well, it's perfectly fine to me. Not only that, she mentioned that Green and Grey doesn't match. LOLS. Boy oh boy, she sure talk a lot today. JKJK. Hmmm, we caught up on things. Talked for the entire day. Started off from Hougang. We then rushed to The Cathay. We got the movie tickets. Well, I treat her. However I was pretty lucky. I only paid $6.50. It was because Celest gave me her voucher. So nice!! Thanks darling. She wasn't free today. If not, she would had headed down herself.

Me and Jas were fighting on what to get. She wanted popcorn, I wanted Nachos. =( Then, she went to the toilet. So, I had a chance to order what I want. But, I thought to myself, be selfless for once. It's not like you go out with her everyday. LOLS. Then, I bought th normal combo which was the popcorn. Then, she asked me why I didn't buy the nachos combo instead. Well, so much for sacrificing. =(

The Grudge 2 is nice. However, the bad thing is that there is too much climax... =( Not so good either. You don't even have a part to rest a while. There had been too much scene whereby the grudge would appear. Unfortunately, we sat beside this group of CHILDREN. They're so immature. I swear I was so tempted to just throw my popcorn at them. The guy beside me kept telling them about they story line. A few seats away, two girls sat together. EVERY SINGLE SCENE that involves the Grudge, they will SCREAM. Bloody hell irritating. =( I mean, it's not as if the cinema belong to you. HELLO!! Then, Jasmine beside me scolded the word 'fuck' like 3 times. Ppl, dun curse that in front of me. I use to do it. But, it's a 'no-no' for me now. Not good..

And mind you, they screams are not soft... It's super screechy and LOUD. EEEKK.

Rating for the movie. 3.5 stars. Ok lar. I still like Shutter best.

After that, we headed down to PS to eat pizza hut. Jas ordered the bake rice with curry. It was super spicy. Well, I ordered the BBQ chicken. I ate two pieces and Jas was there tearing. So, we switched. I ate the bake rice for her. It was spicy for me. We asked for 2 ice water. She thought that she was going to need it. Well, I do. It was always not enough for me. Then, she didn't drink it. And I ended up drinking 3 cups AGAIN. Well, thats the good thing when eating with me. =) But, I'm getting fatter. =(

On the way to Sengkang, I told her about my singing competition. You know, I can really be forgetful to whom I told what to. My memory's failing me, it seems. She was told by yikloong. Hai yo. Obviously she felt hurt that I didn't tell her. But, we were far apart that time. we were always so busy. =( She with her CO. and me with my GUIDES. =(

Oh well, Then, we went to Compass. LIBRARY. I borrowed 4 books, But I only read 3 and half.. hahas. The other book wasn't so interesting. So, I threw it off half way. Then, I borrowed 3 more books. We then went and eat at the cafe. I drank Mango-Madness and Jas drank cookies and cream. We then shared a new york cheese cake. Hahas. The thing change some how. There was lesser Cheese this time. Jas wasn't too happy about it.. hahas..

Then, we went to Popular and thats when she told me that she was the vice-chair for CO. Bloody hell . Oh well, we bought full scap paper. Glue and pen. Then, we headed to her house. She gave me a pencil.. hahas.. Wan xuan, I can return u yours le.. hahas. I stayed until 9 to watch the superstar. hahas. =)

I headed home and bath. Hahas. Then, Gwen reminded me to see miss queck tml. SIAN!!!! Hais.. but, we drag for super long already. So, die die also must see her tml. Wish me luck. And she said I didn't pay for my cookies. Goodness, I did lor... argh!!! When gwen told me that, I was fuming with anger. Bloody hell.. =( I may sound a little mad. But, not at you, dun worry darling. Hahas.

See yar around..

Heritage Trail - Memorial Hall Way

2006-11-06T05:35:00.000-08:00

However, I would like to thank who ever those were involve to make this entire event a success. To the sec 3s who had involved themselves:
x Ellis
x Eleena
x Felicia
x Gwendaline
x Haniza
x Shu Xian
x Wan Ru

And this are the sweets are chocolates that we got at the end of the day.. hahas. See the Kit Kat it's from Kingfisher.. =) Then, snickers is from Ellis. Dun noe where she get one.. Then, Toblerone. Hahas. Thats from Sparrow that me and gwen took care of.. =)

Dove:
-Sarah, Eileen, Januavi, Joy, Devi and Melissa.

Flowerpecker:
- Shiyva, Hui Ling, Melinda, Si Ying, and Janaki.

Kingfisher:
- Syazwani, Kothai, Rajes, Aish, Nurul, Michelle and Durga.

Sparrow:
- Wan Zhen, Ru Yi, Eunice, Clarice and Rong Yong.

Swallow:
- Merlyn, Jia Wei and Melissa Oh.

And not forgetting the teachers Involve!!! Which is Mrs Too. and Miss Chua.. =)

Heritage Trail.

2006-11-05T23:40:00.000-08:00

we today went to Girl Guides Heritage Trail. Hahas. So cool right.. We were not allowed to go with our own patrol. So, I had to join other people. And I ended up with Gwen and Sparrow.

A very enjoyable experience. However, some of us should have went with Eleena and Felicia. It was because both of them do not know the route. Me and eleena actually went the first trial. But, I was pretty ok with the route. Somehow, eleena was unable to figure out the route. So, they actually got lost. =( They were suppose to go little India. But somehow, they ended up in Bugis.
Well, we had to take some photos here and there. Well, I have the Dove ones with me. Cause i sacrificed my camera to wan ru. Hahas. nvm. I shall post some of them up.

This is the autograph book. I made them sign the thing. Hahas. It was at the archaelogical Dig. It was below the Keramat. We didn't really take any picture at the Keramat. Well, It was a sacred place.

This is the archaelogical dig. It wasn't really done yet. hahas.

And for those who didn't get to see the thong chai medical centre's toilet. hahas.

Kingfisher
See those two idiots in the picture. JKJK. Hahas. They're obviously not in my patrol!!! Hahas.. =) Well done Kingfisher!!!

Sparrow

And obviously those two idiots are also not in Sparrow.. hahas. =) Well done to you too!

Since I didn't manage to take Eleena's group photo, I decided to only put up Kingfisher and Sparrow.

Not only that, I couldn't reisist a photo with my own Patrol.. hahas. =)

GOONG

2006-10-13T05:43:00.000-07:00

This is my fav song... hahas... but, them, the MV not that nice.. but, it;s ok lar... i've seen better.. but, i post it because of the song.. =) GOONG RAWKS!

I've posted another one.. =) cause this one got sub-titles.. and translation.. hahas.. I love the song.. hahas..

my Beloved Friend..

2006-10-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

My friend, she was with me since i was sec 1. Although certain guides meeting, we dun really like her because she's always having excuses to go offearly due to her other commitments like studies. We were pretty close when we were sec 1s. And sec 2. But, her attitude just doesn't click with me i guess. But, we were still friends. I even malign her. All of us thought that she changed another one of my friend. But, now since I saw how close they are. I guess, they are happy. So, let them be. But, wad i saw today. Made me open my eyes. Made me realise how much I really treasure her as a friend and a fellow guide.

She use to be so full of life. Now, it's all thrown away by one incident. She has to fight this. She has to get through these traumas. All of us around her are scared for her. We dare not cry in front of her as we want to remain strong. Even someone I didn't expect to break down would be her mom. I really pity her mom. For enduring this. But, please be ensured that all of us will go to the lenths of our abilities to help her. What may happen tml? What IS going to happen tml?

I guess humilation is a bad thing after all. Other people might be able to take it. But, she can't cause she's who I know she is. She's such a lovely person. She's someone who will not defy anyone. She does wad is instructed. Now, she's lost, lifeless, naive and scared. All of us will be there.Helping her go through this fight of hers. But, she has to help herself. She has to. She has to pull through this big obstacle. I want my friend back!! I'm sure everyone does. She's not irresponsible. She's one of the most responsible person I know. She's one defiant. She's so true to everyone. Hais.. We'll be there for her. Let's just have some hope and pray for her. We must have faith in her. We must.

2006-09-30T06:23:00.000-07:00

This time, it wasn't in the toilet. It's now in my own bedroom with a box of tissue. No one really cares about it. No one is trying to make me feel better. At least not everyone. They are just telling me how I did.

Thanks to those who supported me. I guess. Suzanna, please dun blame yourself. I didn't.. This is not your fault. I don't blame u.. So, please don't be disheartened.. Cheer up k? And for those who supported me, sorry to disappoint u.

2006-09-16T05:15:00.000-07:00

Woots.. I'm pretty happy yesterday.. =) So interesting.. I had my auditions yesterday... Well, it was very satisfying.. I guess.. I did ok.. But, for the duet, i a little went off pitch.. Then, my solo... I had flat notes.. =( Maybe they couldn't hear but, i can hear it clearly for myself.. Anyways, the response coming from the audience was great.. =) I guess.. lols.. A plus point the fact that I'm a malay.. After my duet, I went off to my malay thing.. So busy.. Then, ppl was like: you sang very nice.. I guess that was gd then.. Lols.. I was so happy that Eugenia lau came to support me.. The sec 2s were there, the sec 1s were there also.. =) Thanks guys.. I mean from guides lar.. wad else.. lols.. My classmates came also.. =)

Then at 4. 30, I went off... To guides... Then, eleena was like: Hei se mao yi.. DIAOS>>> But, nvm.. and the way she tried to imitate me was pretty hilarious.. During squad, the girls giggled slightly.. Lols.. Of course, I felt embarass.. They say I look shy... Well, I was nervous! Lols.. and quite embarass... Lols.. Then, Wan yu said that I sang very nice.. and she shake my hand.. She made my day!!! Woots.. You know why, cause she's usually not so nice to me.. hahas.. So happy.. Then, before my auditions, yikloong msg me.. Hahas.. He's e only one lar.. But, who else would.. I kept it in low profile.. Even my parents doesn't know about it..

Then, after that, after guides meeting, miss chua and all talk together.. Then, they brought up that topic again.. lols.. Then, miss chua ask me to sing.. Then, sing lor.. Then, she say: not bad arh.. got the tou ying also.. Now we know who to ask already.. Gosh, means, she's referring to giving me some job on singing.. =( More work in the future.. kana sai.. Bleahs.. But, it's ok..

Then, I went home.. Gio, kok chen, jia ying, alex and oliver told me I sang nice today.. But the shock of the day was of course Oliver.. hahas. So weird lar.. I mean, I didn't expect him to say these kidn of thigns one.. like weird!!! But, definitely nice of him.. thanks!! But, to all of you, thanks for the support!!! I really appreciate it.. =) But, my main purpose to join was for experience.. These was a crazy thign for me.. lols.. but experience.. =)

2006-08-31T17:43:00.000-07:00

the walls that i've build has come crumbling down. I'm no longer the strong girl I know.
Setiap masa aku mangingati paristiwa itu, satu perasaan kesedihan akan timbul di hatiku. aku rasa Sungguh menyesal apabila aku melihat keputusan peperiksaanku.
Ini bukan soal maruah tetapi soal kedudukanku di dalam keluarga ini. Satu kali lagi, aku berada di kedudukan yang rendah dibandikan dengan kakakku. Dua puluh minit aku menangis di dalam bilik air. Dan selama dua puluh minit aku berfikir.
Banyak soalan bodoh yang dimainkan di dalam otakku. Aku tidak pernah berniat untuk mengakhirkan hidupku. Tetapi, orang selalu bercakap bahawa fikiran kami akan berkeliaran apabila kami sedang manangis menghidu-hidu.
Tetapi, apa yang harus kami buat? Aku berasa sungguh bodoh. Bodoh. bodoh. bodoh.

2006-08-24T05:14:00.000-07:00

Harlow.. today was pretty interesting.. hahas.. At least no E maths. I think it's my hatest subject now. I don't really like her now. Although I know that she might just be showing concern to all of us, but I'm just now ready to embrace it.

Tomorrow will be another day of stupid maths. I hate the subject a lot. Ok, since when am I in love with maths? like 6 years ago.. yar.. oh Well, there's singing competition coming up. It's a Chinese singing competition. =) I'm not joinning of course but I feel like considering it. HAhas. You know just for fun joy and laughter. Just for the experience. But, still deciding. Even if I join, my parents will not know of it though. It's not something they might tell me off about. I just don't think it's appropriate to do so..

Hmmm, what else.. Oh yar, I got back my GEo test. You know what, I think I'm going to do pretty well for my humans. Cause I have projects to pull me up. There's one subject that will be pulling me down as usual and that is E maths.. I don't think i'll pass my A maths this time as well. Oh well, can't be bothered.. I think I'm giving up a lot on studies. I'm not entirely washing my hands off. But, just not as motivated anymore.. For chemistry, there might be hope.. Cause of my project. Physics.. Maybe also got hope.. Bio, gosh, I don't think so. Sad life. Cause I wasn't too free to study for it all the time. =( Eng, well, I'm getting it tomorrow. It's pretty nerve wrecking. I don't think i'll do that well. Cause I didn't touch much on the topic itself but instead going about the processes and details. =( If I don't do well, I know where I had gone wrong or something. that's all right.. oh yar! Malay, maybe will pass.. hahas.. Maybe not too..

Today was a very exciting day. Laugh my head off most of the time. The only time that I didn't agree with is A maths.. And that's the only one. During MT, my teacher made a few hilarious remarks and it perk me up especially when I might just put off at that time. As I was having my menstrual cramps early in the morning. =( I don't usually have them but I think it's because of too much standing. =( Haiz..

Next up was recess, ate slowly today.. Had to save money... So, bought something pretty small amount.

Then, went to GEO class. As usual, Miss suan rawks! She is so fun.. hahas. I'm glad that most of the people in my class are going for the trip. Then, got back our test paper. Did quite well. Satisfactory.. Then, the class was exceptionally noisy at miss suan's class today..

Then, went to Chem class.. =) Had presentation and wasted first period finding a classroom becase the labs cant be used. There was practical exam and I think they do not want any disturbance... Anyways, the presentation was ok.. But the quiz was exciting cause their prize was very tempting.. hahas..

Then, to A maths class. We thought she won't come because there was a relief teacher.. But, there she was and coming in our class... Lols.. Yen ling at some point imitated the way she say certain stuff.. Lols.. Then, she was sooo unreasonable.. Asked Paul to stand just because he didn't get to his seat quick enough. and started throwing bullshit.. she said Paul was the most naughtiest boy that she ever met in Express.. wow, that was must the rest be... Goodness.. The must be that nicest angels in the world..

Then, break/lunch. Had a few things.. But, still wanted to chew something, me and Merilyn bought something else to share..

Then, We had bio.. it was a very interesting lesson.. Hahas.. teach asked paul how his heartbeat sounds like: tatatata.. well, of course not like that. He started to say something else.. That was immitating some sounds.. Lols.. Then, teach said your heart does not sound like that.. Then, as per normal the heartbeat sounds like: da-dum da-dum. Paul:can you not be so monotonous.? Teach:cannot be help, your heart sounds like that. ... Lols, then, paul started to : heir heir heirheir heir.. IT's like a lamp kinds sound. .hahas.. Then, teach: thats like asthma.. Well, you might think it's not funny, but, it was if you were in my class...

Then, yen ling told all of us that when my teach say about the having to read your pulse at your wrist as well, stanley place his two finger on his wrist and put it to his ear. HAHAHAHAS.. i mean, how can you hear it??? Lols, it's to feel it.. hahas!!! He did a charade before and his 'call' word.. Then, it's expected that you'll do the sign of calling some one.. he did it upside down!!! Lols.. I'm so mean..

Ok, then, we watch some video for our bio break. The man was talking and suddenly, his teeth dropped off. He was actually wearing a fake one.. lols!!! oh well, i'm done!!! I stayed bacck a while though.. Some of us didn't hand in WS>. and She scolded us.. =( But, the day was fulfilling enough to cover my wounds. hee hee hee.. hahas. 3e2 rawks!

2006-08-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

Woots.. Hi hi.. There are so much things that I want to blog about today... I'll tell you my typical day.. muahahas.. first was the damn morning duty.. Lols.. Wei jie come back already from OBS.. Hmmm, told us about the OBS thingin'.. Kinda irritating to hear about it everyday like that.. But it's good to hear that they had fun.. But, I want to hear more of their adventure there.. Then, went off to the foyer.. Did my daily work.. Done. I went to read the newspapers.. Got jay!!! Hahas. they said something about his new song wih Fei Yu.. in his new album.. Bla bla bla.. Then, Mrs Danapal and Mr Farid asked me to call Mrs. Choi. At first I didn't know who's that... muahahas.. Then, walking to the parade square.. Ask Mr. Michael who it was and he pointed to me.. hahas.

After that, went back to the foyer.. first subject!!! SS.. hahas. Mrs. Hee wasn't taht happy but then, we started with our lesson.. She used all of the periods inclusive of our CME which was after her lessons.. hahas.. It's ok.. I mean, better than learnin about some values thingin'. But it was kinda tiring to have it all at one go..

Recess I ate my normal portion. Hmmm, nothing much..

Then, Physics.. We went to the Lab.. Then, Mr Tan came.. But we are not able to use the lab due to the o levels practical comign up if i'm not wrong.. That's why.. Then, We went to Miss Chua's Homeroom.. hahas.. walk there and I think we wastedlike 15 to 20 minutes like that... boo hoo!!! Man, this must be the first time that i'm ever sad cause I miss lessons.. hahas. Then, we had lessons.. Then, he asked me question about random and continuous.. I thought it was random.. I mean, it's explainning about the motion of the air molecules.. Then, bi xuan also say like that.. Then, he asked me why.. Then, I don't know how to explain to him... Hahas.. Then, he was saying it's correct.. Hahas.. Then, before that he asked me GG cannot lie right.. some oath you all have.. Then, I said ya lar.. hjmmm, 'My honour means I can be trusted, to be truthful and honest' hee hee.. Of course I didn't say that lar.. Then, proceed on...

Mother tongue.. hahas. Hmmm, we handed in our work. COmprehension.. Then, We had to do this paper. Do and do lor.. She was also scolding this guy outside class.. Then, she had to bring the guy down.. Then, my classmates was like hurray.. hahas. then, she walked back saying: don't make any havoc arhs.. While laughing,, hahass.. Then, when she came back, we went through the paper... =) When we came under peribahasa I think.. it's like Idioms.. Then, we were saying that Birds cannot fly when it rains.. I mean, they don't fly when it rains.. Then, some people tried to be funny and said birds can fly.. But, of course they knew they couldn't.. Of course, my teacher asked Suhaimi for his agreement.. .He then, said, "WHo say I say birds cannot fly.. Birds can fly...' Then, everyone laugh.. hahas.. Then, my teacher ask them to find any sources that birds can fly when it's rainning.. lolr..

Break... Then, English.. As usual, waited outside the class. for him to come.. Hmm, today we did compre again!!!!!!!! I know we're very weak.. but, for the love of god.. I think i'll die.. lols.. Then, we got to go home early!!! so nice.. first tiem sia.. then, everyone super shock.. hahas. then, headed off to the canteen to find they all... Then, we ate.. They did, i didn't... Then, went to Ms loh's class. Lesson all e way until 6.50 like that..

Went to the bubble tea shop.. Then, i order, get the drinks.. then, i walked off without paying!!!!!! Then, the auntie said ' girl arh, you havent pay me money!!!' Wah, more like shout rather than say.. Gosh, I was sooo embarrassed lar!!! then, went off,.. drink drink drink... Then, went to the bus stop.. One 147 passed elle didn't take.. cause she still drinking water.. then, think think think, went to kovan to shop for pei yi's present.. hahas. so nice lar!!!!!!! muahahhas.. then, went home around 7 plus 8. The, i reach at around 8/ 20.. Hmmm, it was ok.. then, i wrapped e prezzie lioas.. trust, it does not look like a mummy wrapping.. hahas.. totally professional.. =) muahahs.. nites!! mi need to bath..

2006-08-18T20:06:00.000-07:00

Hey! I just woke up.. and here I am blogging. hahas. My results were terrible.. =( Still awaiting 2 more papers.. Geo and Eng.. I seriously Hope my ENG will pass. It's not that easy anymore. And to SOME of my juniors.. hahas.. If you all happen to read my blog, please do not approah me about it k? Cause it's personal kind of thing. And there is a limit to everything.. =)

hmmmm, good news, Jay's 7th album is coming out soon. I;m waiting for the per-order to come up. Hmmm, then, i'm going to order it.. =) hahas.. One more good news is that I did not exceed my monthly bill. But I only got it for 1/2 a month.. and I didn't even finish half of the sms. SO, must see the next bill instead.. and I realise I call a lot.. hahas.. but not incoming but outgoing.. lols.. Another good news is that I love physics more and more!!! hahas. I passed!!!!!!!!!!!! woots!!!!!! so exciting.. Thanks to Mr. Tan who have been our lovely teacher.. 3e1: 10 fail. 3e2: 4 fail. 3e3: 4 pass. Hmmm, read that again?

hahas.. shocking huh... I think so too.. hahas.. Oh well, that was the only thing that I was proud of.. hahas. =) other than that.. not really lar arhs.. ONe more thing.. Got the highest for SS project in the class.. Hope it will pull up the CA marks.. And my Geo project looks pretty nice.. hahas.. =) Ok, I'm done.. I want to play badminton will Ellis they all today.. but, ELle havent reply me... =( Oh well, i tink i'm goign to call her soon see how lor.. maybe she wants to catch up on her work or something.. Since they came back from OBS already.. Missed them sooo much!!! HAhas...bb'

2006-08-14T04:06:00.000-07:00

Hahas... muahahhas.. Yes, Wan Xuan.. haha.s.
Today in Physics class: we all were listenning to Mr. Tan. Well, I was curious about something. It had somehing to do with the kinetic theory of matter..

Then, I asked a question. Then, Mr tan said, "Wah. First time Haniza asked question." Then, everyone laughed. Then, he checked his watch. "11. 25, 14 august" hahas.. i still remember.. muahahs.. and wan xuan as well.. hahas. Mr Tan is sooo nice.. hahas. Oh well, may not a be a big deal for you but i dun often asked questions. It was a big deal for me... =)

hee hee. today is the first day they all went to OBS. I hope they would have fun. =) I really wanted to go but I can't. I can't afford to do so. Lols.. So, I didn't go and here I am missing them already!!!!!!! Lols.. i hugged them in the morning.. I think they're coming back on Friday!!!!! Woots!!!! i'll look for them and be the first one to greet their black black faces.. hahas. Sure sun Tan until like shit.. hahas..

Hmmms, done doing agenda already.. Seeing Miss chua tml. Then, Today also my Social Studies presentation.. mini one.. lols.. most of the things is me and wan xuan do one.. but, oliver did the design, leslie and krit did their own reflection. we lied a little bit.. but, won't die.. hahas. Hmmm, they say we so far got the highest mark.. =) so fun.. hahas. i must say the project was successful and worth my lack of sleep.. hahas.. one down 2 more to go,, I tink we're having chem pro on Wednesday.. =) Then, another one down.. Left Geo. but, no presentation done i tink..

Geo was a vey very fun project if you make it a fun one.. Definitely. The only one who did the project was me and Celest. Merilyn was not able to attend both meetings cause of Church. Celest Manage to sacrifice her time. Why cant she do the same? Oh well. Then, we just went ahead with the project without her and hand it up on friday. We did a lot of work.. IT was quite well done i must say...

We actually went to NTUC to take pictures here and there. so fun, although we look like some aunties.. hahas. Then, the next day we met at 3. cause i had to delay due to SS project that time. Then, we did all the way until 10.. lols! But, it was nicely done.. =) I don't know whether we'll do well but i hope we do.. we got 2 points bonus cause pass up fast.. =) some havent even start arhs.. so far i only heard my group and Yen ling.. i don't know who else handed it up already.. wish them all the best..

Then, tml i think i got no afternoon lessons.. what am I going to do? lols..!!! I don't feel like going home to sleep.. well, we'll see how tml.. Hmmm, what else? Mi feel like sleeping now.. But cannot.. very very very bad timing.. Then, today everyone is super sleepy lar.. every single class also felt like sleeping... But, i tried tp wake up lor.. lols.. Then, in eng class alex slept then, he had to stand on the table. =( i understand how tired he must have felt. Well, yen ling also slept.. but, i think mr. micheal didn't see. Oh well, gd for her.. She's having a sore throat.. i tink everyone is getting sick these days.. Poor thing.. Even cai xin didn't come to sch and OBS. =( such an opportunity wasted.

Then, during SS lessons, oliver is such a pain in the ass. Cant stand him sometimes. Stupid.. walk walk around the class like it's his.. lols.. then, only went in front to pay attention when it was paul's turn to present.. bias!!! lols.. up to him lar..

And 'Paul is a rose' Haha.. thats a metaphor.. i keep saying it in malay which is metaphora. is that how you spell it? oh well. then, 'Paul is as beautiful as a rose' thats a similie. hahas..now now now, u don't want me to go in details which one shows wad.. lols.. goign off now.. =) Have to watch my grey's anatomy tonight.. and hmmm, i dun tink desperate housewives is playing anymore.. lols.. but it seems hanging.. hais.. also like that.. =)

Oh ya, lake house is cool.. but i tink the story was very interesting... should go and watch.. well, its been such a long time since i watched a movie. i paid 9. 50.. ex!!!!!!! lols.. but, they were saying it was once in a while.. so, fine.. lols.. gtg.. buais..

2006-08-12T08:10:00.000-07:00

I don't want to do this anymore... hahas.. jkjk. Listenning to Rihanna's Unfaithful. The song is quite nice.. hahas. just came back from Esplanade. I went and see the Fireworks.. So nice.. hahas. =)

Erms, today was a pretty long day.. got out of the house at 10 45. Went and meet Ellis to 'give' her the key to guides dent. But only to find that she has it also.. but nonetheless, i waited for her since until 4 147 bus drove pass. oh well.. then, we went back to my house.. She played my com.. then, we went off to her house... she took quite long to change.. then, we went off to the MRT station with Eugenia tan, shu xian and wan ru there waiting for us.. lols. then, went off to PS.. talk cock sing song play mahjong.. then, went to watch Lake house.. waited for Eugenia lau to come.. then, went off into the movie theatre. the story was quite nice.. hahas.. so cool lar.. oh well. then, we went and meet valerie.. went to marina parade.. bought 'dinner' at KFC.. super crowded! Then, went home fix to try to get the twine.. but cannot find.. the person was saying ' we only got polyester rope' i was like: ok.. then, eugenia ask: it's a kind of cottonish rope. then, she said, 'we only got polyester rope' and she give us that bu suang look and face.. very qian da!

went off to the esplanade bay.. sat there eating and chatting.. it was only 5 plus.. but, it was pretty crowded.. then. around 6 plus, ppl started started to stand already.. so fast.. then, we were like thank god, we came early.. lols.. then, we waiting quite long.. me and valerie wanted to go to the ladies.. so, we went around 7 plus.. waited for the rest to come back.. then, we went off to oriental hotel.. hahas! so grand.. hahas.. should have brought my camera. Valerie regretted not bringing hers. Oh well. then, we went to the toilet.. and went back. very very veyr squeezy.. then, we sat down back and Han Xiang and Eugene was sitting with us.. lols.. Then, they did their stuff and we talked somemore.. then, valerie went off with her fwens.. talk talk talk until the fireworks started lor.. tok photo.. video.. then, some part of the fireworks i missed cause my eyes caught something.. lols.. cause the 'ashes' it seems to be.. fell on us.. and one of the, just had to go in to my eyes.. my tears fell lar.. ka na sai.. tried to relief it.. but it took a while.. no one paid me much attention.. cause the firework was at it's climax.. =( but, nontheless, we got a very very good view.. but, i tink i'll manage.. lols.. then, eugenia drove us home.. she stop me at hougang point that side.. it's ok lar.. not that far.. but, still need to walk.. but it's not as ulu as bowen that side.. oh well.. mi need to bath,, =)

2006-07-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

Harlow peeps.. It's been so busy and tiring for me.. After this post, I;m going to do Physics and to the bed I go.. maybe after ironing my uni.. hahas..
Today was racial harmony day. I, of course didn't get to watch the concert. But my teacher said it was boring. So, I didn't regret.. hahas.. Oh well, I wore some tequoise colour. Something like that,.. With heels. then, borrowed bag from Celest!! Thanks for the bag dearie!!!!!!! Then, my leg hurts quite badly... hahas.. but not as bad at prefect investiture.. maybe it's because it's my fav shoes.. hahas.. Hmmm, then, we took quite a lot of photos..
Then, today, we had the enrolment rehearsal. Miss Chua wasn't too happy about it. like we did. We didn't like it either. but, wad really can we say. Then, miss chua scold them then.... they do properly. and some of the sec 2s loves to move so much. Too bad the sun was mean to them though.. then, we got to off at around 5.30 like that.. some of the sec 1s miss stuff. so, we kinda taught them. bla bla bla..

I realise one more thing. I cannot bare to disappoint someone.. I don't know why. Until now, I didn't hand in something. And the feeling has been bugging me everytime!!!!! And when ever an assignment is given, I cant bare to disappoint him, so, I'll do.. so weird right? hahas. tml got his lesson!!! hahas.. he's so humourous... I tink he's sick though. Get well soon!!! I think he;s like my fav teach although i'm not his fav. hahas. and although I dun do well for his subject. Thats so unfair to him.. thats why I die die also want to pass this time round.. =) see ya later.. need to complete physics.. ciaos!

2006-07-07T04:02:00.000-07:00

hih.. actually i'm suppose to update the blog a long time ago.. everytime i've typed halve of the page, I have to go do something else. hahas. Oh well, i've got nothing muchto say anymore. cause most of what i wanted to say was already at the ones that i've written but didn't post.. hahas.. too bad.. =)

Woots, so, i've asked opinions around. I want to be. but, it's not that possible. hahas. so, i can let go of the notion. i'm glad something made me think that way. cause, if anything happen again, i might not be able to take the blow. hahas. But, wish them al the best. I really don't wish too see us strain. Hmmm, and hope she shares things with us instead of solo. cause it hurts our hearts that setiap kali die jumpe cikgu kite, selalunye die tidak akan bilang ape ape pade kite. macam mane kite tak rasa die macam teruk gitu. Oh welll. We will sought the amswer in the near future.. when? i dun noe.. hahas. but, meanwhile, it's studies and studies all the way.and i'm still finding my physics file.. hais..

2006-07-01T23:17:00.000-07:00

I didn't go for the walkaton today.. My stomach didn't seem to agree with me.. Woke up at 5.40..Started to have pains ten minutes laters.. Dun know why. hais.. Then, still got pain at 6.15. So, tell eugenia cannot make it.. My mother tell me better don't go.. She gave me some pills and panadol. Then, I went back to sleep. Too bad I cannot go.. My muscles are cramping.. Fill me with the details later on.

Syf yesterday was pretty ok. Better than our usual practise. But certain incident just blew it. hahas. Someone did a horrible thing on the parade. I shall not say it. Then, Another person kept squarting down. Dun noe lar.. Hais.. Then, after that, we joined bowen. Then, we went for dinner. hais.. so much conflict. bowen band, you still rawks.. Dun worry about what the school says.. =)

2006-06-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

hihi peeps. Today's the first Girl guide meeting after the June hols. Well, we had to do a lot of catching up. a lot more than we thought. We had our campfire. Therefore, we couldn't complete our hw. I couldn't even do a single one. Miraculously, i did complete eng. Well, i didn't go for eng lessons on one of the days. I had SYF. Then, Mr. micheal said that he wants the hol assignment by tml. Well, i misinterpret what Gio told me. My fault. I thought he wanted to see the compo only. Therefore, i completed compo on the same day b4 his lessons. What happen was, there were a few people who didn't do. The ones that didn't do everything was only 2 people. The band members. I'm the only who did one. Hais.. Then, we were taken out. Cause we were pretty major cases. Then, Mr michael concentrated more on the band members. Then, he asked what reason I had to give. I said GG. Well, I wouldn't dare... But, i would blame it on my time management. Then, The rest told band as a reason. Then, They had Syf. I had SYF and campfire and camp as well. Well, I have everything to blame on myself. time management. Oh well, Then, he told me to stay back with the rest to complete the assignment. I didn't even bring lar.. I photocopied the question papers. Then, I manage to only complete 2 compre until 6.30. Not inclusive of summary. there was 1 compo, 4 compre. And every compre had summary. i had sad life. But, the e1 peeps had until fri to complete theirs. I had only the next day. which was wed on my case. i was ask to submit it at 7. 15 in the morning. So, it's imnpossible for me to do in the morning. I burned mid-night oil. Until 1.30. As ussual, late for duty. Every single day I'm late for duty. Hahas. It's not funny I know.

But I was thinking, how ever did I manage to survive through the entire week without breaking down? Irony isn't it? i woke up at 7 this morning. Hahas. And i wasn't late! I was so happy. hahas. But, i didn't even hear my alarm clock rang. See, I have sad life. Hais..i tink it did. It was just that I couldn't hear. I stayed up doing preparation for tml's meeting. See lar, last minute thing. But, I was pretty busy with a lot of things this week. Didn't have time to settle down. Mrs. Danapal wants to see me regarding HOD duties. Miss Q wanted to see me for walkaton. I didn't even see any of them lar.. I saw them, I talked to them. But, only briefly. Now, die die next week must see Mrs D. Cause Later the duties expire.. Then, Die liaos.. Then, by this week must complete physics assignment!!! Hais.. Cannot disappoint Mr tan. hahas. He's so charming. so humourous. hahas.

I'll up date you more on today's meeting later.. I need to bath and get things done for SYF tml!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm done.. and just now was 8... i stopped writting at 815 like taht.. now it's 11. 55.. hahas
i polished my boots.. not nice so bu suang.. hmmm, then, my brasso turned brown.. such a weird colour. Then, started put on cloth. My entire thing went blue lar! Then, do on tissue better.. but, i had to wipe off the rest o fthe blue. Then, it was actually more shiny than last time!!!!!!!!!! omg.. and i did in 10 minutes only.. i hope it doesn't turn black tml.. hahas. in case you noe.. Some more i used some stupid brown brasso.. hahas. I tink it cannot stand heat. oh well. Then, i actually polished my boots for two hours. hahas. i was watching charm with kc as well on the phone. Hahas. My parents and my sis just came back just now. So, pratically i've been alone in the house.

Me and kc talked for 1 hour plus. Then put down cause we havent bath. Stinky! Then, continued on line. But, havent do my uni.. hahas. so, did everything. Now, he went off line ler.. cause he too tired.. my head hurts. stupid. first time the pain comes from the back more.. still got front pain.. not as bad as the back. Oh well, wad else should we talk about? Oh ya,...

Today's meeting.. It was not as well prepared. So, thigns didn't go so well. Then, we played game. And i knew i shouldn't be so close with the sec 1s. i mean, they're stepping all over the seniors head lar. no, pl and ps's head. gosh. horrible. so angry!!!!!!!!!!
i'm not the only onw who got angry because of the sec 1s. They super attitude lor. dun like. oh well, i'm going to bed to read.. and perhaps slp
omg, finally
im going to have like 8 hrs of slp!
night!

2006-06-21T04:41:00.000-07:00

I'm so sick and tired of everything.

Campfire.
Guides.
Syf.
Family.
Assignments.
Campfire.
Guides.
Syf.
Family.
Assignments.

THere's 5 things on my head everytime. Never fail. I do not know how I'm suppose to handle everything. There's only 4 days to opening of school. 2 Days to campfire. I Don't know how i'm going to complete my hw in 2 days??? Is that possible? With Projects as well. Not only that, I even have SYF during school time. OMG. I think i'll die and break down soon. Hahas. funny how I choose to do certain things. Really funny. It's not amusing but I just felt as though my tears won't come out to release. I can't cry anymore. Even if it's on the brim of my eye, it fails to roll down my cheeks.

Sometimes, it really helps me. But, now, it doesn't want to. I Don't understand why. Even when I need someone during some of the worst times, they refuse to help me. Not really in my face refusal. But, definitely non-cooperative. Oh well, I guess I have to handle things on my own now. My parents kept emphasizing on me doing too much. Look, I'm not the only one. In fact, my friends work harder than me. And they could still maintain their other commitments. I don't understand why. WHY?! TIME MANAGEMENT. Easy to say, hard to accomplished. I can just say the factors that are affecting me. I can, but, I can never do certain things. I Have no life. damn it. I'm totally deprive of it. One day, I'll just break down one more time.

Today was perhaps one of the worse day ever. I didn't go for something. I know i'm stupid. And i'm at loss. I seriously am. I know i'm suppose to be angry with myself. But, i ask myself: is guides all about getting badges? Are we suppose to be christmas trees? I know you want to. But, is it really important. Hmmm, maybe to show off to other CCAs is your method of bringing up the name. Is that so? I see... I see now. I finally saw it. I know our main objective to bring up our name. But, there are factors that are going us. The objective of being a girl guide is to help others. I want to bring up our name but ... There are factors. there are... But, we refuse to acknowledge it as our main problem..

I'm foolish and stupid to not force myself to wake up. But, the habit is there. That I can never kick it out. Then, my main weak points drag me down as a person. I know. But, I hate. I REALLY HATE people telling me to change. I'll do it when I want to. There is a time. there is a moment. but there are so many factors hitting on me that I refuse to change for the better.

Maybe after this campfire, I would seclude myself from everyone to get my life back on track. Hais.. Tml is going to be another long day. Man, i'm so sick of the school already.

During sYF, I fall out. I couldn't take it anymore. I told myself to hang on. Since, we're going to march soon. but, After the first row did, they had to redo. I could not take it. The cool wind blew. And That triggered it all. I squad down. And a red cross help me out. Then, I went and rest. I didn't feel guilty, It's just that my empty stomach was causing me so much pain. I should have eaten my lunch. After I got back, I felt better but three pieces of oreo did not match a lunch. And I even finished a bottle of water. =( Oh well, it's ok. The trainning and all. Sameer is so cute!!!!!!!! Well, handsome actually. He's so man... hahas.. bleahs..

2006-06-17T23:58:00.000-07:00

I'm updating because too many people are waiting for some excitement of my camp!!! hahas... I learnt a lot for the past few days. I admit that it was boring, but the lessons there that I learn will be passed down to my juniors. I thank everyone who have indeed kept my tag board lively while I was away... I know some of you miss me!!! hahas.. Some even miss my 'kanasai'. That was hilarious. Anyways, I've met a few new friends during the camp. They were all evry fun loving people that I would not forget in my guiding life.

The first day was not what I had expected. I thought we were suppose to learn practical stuffs like gadgets and outdoor cooking. Or something else. But, we were not. We had to learn theory all the way. We even learn how to organize our own campfire. I took charge of the fire wood. I know I some sort of betrayed Ellis on this. I was suppose to go proramme planning. But, I'm not those sort who just sit back and let others do. I like to lead. Then, they were pushing us to ask someone to lead the people. Well, as you know I volunteered myself for fire wood. Elle didn't really show as though she was furious with me. But, she felt betrayed I guess. Then, I wanted to learn. That's why I went to the firewood. Cause I had no more opportunity to learn. I would be the emcee, and I would have no opportunity to take care of the fire wood.

Miss J said the problem with us is that we don't like to open our mouth. The fire wood ran out. And I didn't ask for anymore. I was pretty stupid. How would I know..... Cause I guess I misinterpret what Mr. Salleh or Salim said. He say got.. But, then, I was pretty unclear what was it. So, I guess it was my fault for not asking. Dots. So, it ended up that my fire went down pretty fast. But, the fire was still burning for the end.. But, only small fire... hahas!!! Oh well, we had COH. Which was court of honour. Pretty much expected. people from the planning committee shoot me. Hahas.. They didn't really know who volunteered. So, they said the person who was in charge of fire wood should have checked whether there was anymore wood. Too bad, it's all lessons to be learnt. And not to be committed again..

One more highlight of the camp was that. I was so sick of eating!!!!!!!!! They gave us: breakfast, elevenses, dinner. Thank god we didn't have TEA and SUPPER. But, oh boy, we had a lot of stuff to eat. and we didn't even use much of our energy. It was only for our PT. and thats all.... We thought of losing weight in this camp. But, we ended up gainning.

There were some people whom I like durin gmy camp. But there was a few that I didn't really appreciate.. Hahas. too bad. Blame it on their bad attitude. and some of the people there were proud and snobbish. Not all that, some were so KEEN to lead that they tend to forget those around them... Some, I didn't even know why they were there.. I was like, if you don't like it here, get out of my way. MAN, they were so reluctant and no leadership at all!!! they were such slackers... =(

Bad for health..

2006-06-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, these were the spars me and the BB carried. If anyone of you do not know how a spar look like, it looks like that. I don't know who was that crossing. I think it's Ellis. Irritating. Hahas. =)

Our beloved gateway!!!! Hahas. this what we're building.. Cool right? It took us 5 days to complete this. I wonder how much more longer would the real thing be.. =) die hard!!

2006-06-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

Singapore Idol
I would like to talk about the people that participated in Singapore Idols. I didn't know that there were so little people in singapore that has talents. Singing I mean. Where are all those people. Hiding in the corner??? I mean, the people are not up to my expectations... There are only a few good ones.. I'm really looking forward to more contestants who can sing.. I'm not saying that they cant sing but, they're really horrible. Their voice was not strong enough. Too bad. There was a few.. I think that Jasmine's voice control was good. The way she slide from normal to falsetto was good. But, her voice would sustain long. Cause it was not strong. What will separate her from the rest was her voice control.

Rahimah was those bad girl look. But, when she smiled, she has that sweet look. When she went in for audition, she didn't look like that. To me, she was sweet innocent type. But, ended up, she looked like those who go clubbing. Like oh my gawd. But, if she wants to sustain her image, i suggest she doesn't smile. Hahas. Weird! Her voice was strong. But, it wasn't enough.

Hmmm, why am I giving so much comments!???? I'm not THAT GOOD. hahas. But, I think I watched American Idol cause their standard are like WOW. Serious... =)

Macdonald

In Potong Pasir's Mac, Eugenia, Elle and I were talking about our encounter with men. hahas. I mean, those like mad man on the streets or being confronted by any of them. Those were pretty hilarious but some was not so nice to talk about. I mean, we're girls, we're more prone to get more affected by the viles of men. Hahas.

Library

I actually managed to borrow some book. The stupid machine didn't want to scan my card! So, I had to wait for very long at the counter.. My fine was 23 bucks. Nice right? Hahas. Those people in fron of me was having so much problems and the person there was not very nice. She was not rude or something but nonetheless, she wasn't those welcome and smiley type. Irritating!!! Then, after I was done, I went and borrow the things and head up to the 3rd floor. Eugenia and Ellis was still reading magazine. And Ellis was telling me that my skirt was short. And Eugenia said, 'It's ok what..' Of course you think it's ok, your skirt was like mine. Hahas.

Toa Payoh

Me and Ellis went to Toa Payoh to look for Eugenia. I was like think the charity thing was like a stall or cart. So, we looked around for things that has $10 signs. And dear gawd, there were a few. Hahas. Then, I saw someone. hahas. So funny. I thought it was pretty hilarious. I USED to like him. But then, he was such a mistake. Ok, wait, who in the past was not a mistake??? But, this one was a damn big mistake. One of the fews.. Hahas. I don't like him!!! Hahas. Oh well, I was like omg, did I just saw who I tink I saw. Then, told elle, it was nose fwen. I THINK she knew who. And she was like WHERE? Then, I showed her then, she was like, 'EEEE... so ugly.' HAHAS!!! so funny!! He was with this girl. Oh well, can't be bothered.

Then, I called Eugenia. She said just walk to Mac and Mosburger there.. Ellis and I look for her. I was like thinking. There's no shop there.. Then, when I was going to called her, she turned up with Li hui... Hahas.. Then, we headed down to the library... Me and elle bought the shirt.. That cost 10 bucks.. EUgenia say I cannot wear it! I was like, I can wear it lar. Then she said oh ya. You can wear. Then, we bought 5 bucks each. Then, Eugenia said, how you going to wear? You wear one week she wear another week.. hahas. I gave the shirt to elle. I can't be bothered. Then, we headed down to the library.

Spars Collection ***BIGGEST TOPIC***

Today, at the start of my day, as I was busying chatting on line, I asked Eugenia whether I was needed when the spars were going to be transfered. She say I need to be there. Like Duh, I'll presume that Ellis needs to be there as well. Then, I asked her. She could not come. So, I was like, never mind lor. Then, I went out of my house at 1. 15. Then , I called Jennifer to confirm that she was in school. Unfortunately, SHE WAS NOT. She was at the coffee shop. I was pretty shocked. I was not that angry. I don't see the point. Then, I called Eugenia to tell her whether we're really collecting the spars today cause Jennifer' is not in school and she says that she as lazy and we could do it tomorrow. Eugenia asked me to call jennifer back to ask her to go back to school for the spars. Then, Jennifer say she don't want. She wants to go home. Man, what can I go right? So, I actually went to the coffee shop and took the guides dent kep from her.

I headed down to school. I found out that the BB has their practise at 2. I reached in school at around 30 like that. I looked around the school for Jonathan. Only found him at 50. outside the school. I think he waited for Jennifer but she was not there. So, he took me to the plce where the spars were. I thought the shutter was at the other side. Cause it was open. But, it was at the other side and it was not open. Then, we saw the auntie. We asked the auntie to open the thing for us.

Then, on the spars, there were loads of chairs on it. So, jonathan had them removed to another side. Then, we took out the spars one by one. It was pretty heavy. Then, we had diffuculities as the spars were pretty long and we had the disruption of the wall and windows. We we lucky neither the wall or the window broke. We hit the wall a few times. The sound was so loud and frightenning that sounded as though it's breaking. hahas. The sound waves travel. Then, it took us approximately 1 hour and a half to get the spars out. In the middle of doing, I called a few person for them to come down. But, none of them could. Wan Ru was in the library. So, she could not pick up the phone. Shu xian was pretty much lazy and she would take a very long time to get to school. So, I didn't even try calling her. Gwen was at Beach road with her dad. Ellis also wouldn't be able to get to school as fast. But, i called her. Then, she was pretty immune but, i can't be bothered. Then, me and jonathan carried 2 spars at first. Then, when we placed it outside the dent, he went off. I thought he deserted me onto carrying the rest of the spars by myself. Of couse he didn't, he brought one more person over..

The, Miss lee came over. She said, who gave you all the permission? I was so scared cause they were having their bagpipe practise but, they helped me out. I told myself, hai ya, at most you go up and down 20 times lor... yar, I can carry one by one.. I don't mind. Then, miss Lee allowed. Cause I bet she could see how pathetic the situation was. I mean, I was the only girl there and there was no one else..

Then, they tried carrying 4 at first... Then, it was ok.. They got pretty much ambitious as they carried 6. By the time, I already got all the 6 spars into the guides dent already.. Then, they decided to slide the thing down. So, we dragged it to the side... nearer to the feild. Then, one sec 5 senior caled me wonder woman. CRAZY. like dot.. it was only dragging two spars... but, the rocky field didn't do me any good. hahas. Then, after that, they tranferred over outside the dent.. Then, they helped me carry the spars into the guides dent as well.. So nice. Then, Jonathan say that guides owe all bb boys a drink... DOTS. then, I said thank you.. then, thank miss lee also.. Then, my junior helped me tear maskin tape. She was not a guide.. she was from soccer. She's very nice. Then. I wrote BB on the maskin tape cause Jonathan say better don't write on the spars.

They borrowed us 24 spars. Yar.. and i've touched every single one of them. And it's tiring. By that time, I was already dead meat. But, Eugenia insisted that I come to visit her.. and the journey goes on as follow upstairs...

Stuck in the Dent.

2006-05-31T07:20:00.000-07:00

I'm still sick. hahas. Can't be helped I know. I only eat medicine once. After I sang today, it was slightly better. But, you believe me what drove me to sing out loud in the guides' dent. Eugenia tan and Jennifer locked us up in the guides' dent. There was Shu xian, Gwen, elle and me. We thought they wouldn't really lock us up but, they did eventually. Then, at first, we actually very bu suang.. So, we sat down. Then, I started singing. Then, Ellis say very not suitable for the situation. hahas. Then, we started singing a few songs. Like the school song. Then, we some sort of attracted the track and field guys from the field. We were pretty loud you know. Eugenia say that they could still hear us from the the foyer. hahas! Then, Since we have a few guys at the window already without the image of a knight saving a few damsel in distress. Instead, they took our chocolate which we allowed them to, as it was not so nice. Hahas. After that, they laughed at us then took off.

Hmmm, then, Eugenia and Jennifer came along saying that we should write our name with our butts. None of us heard them or bothered about doing it. We actually went to the door and tried to open it with loads of method. With hair pin, needle, and wire that was not stiff enough. Hahas. I know we were very stubborn but, what could we do? Hahas. After that, we tried looking for things that was valuable to them in the guides dent. Elle's idea that is. Then, of course we couldn't find anything. But, kept searching. We ound the drama materials but we were thinking, it's not our things, better not spoil it or anything. Then, Eugenia and Jen went off with us still stuck in the room. We became bored so we actually lied down on the floor and talk. After that,
we had an idea of doing work. Then, me and Shu xian started doing English, Ellis did maths and Gwen did chinese. At first, me and Shu xian read. After that, Gwen who was listening to her MP3 joined the noise with her Chinese reading. Then, a few minutes later, Ellis complaint about the noise. She said, one side English one side Chinese. Hahas. How confusing. We made the noise louder. AFte rthat, elle actually read out the maths equation!!! and we started laughing. hahas.

Hmmm, then, Eugenia and Jennifer still didn't want to let us go, they asked us to guess numbers. We guessed until the first number. which was 620. It was only for the first turn for the number. There's still a second turn for it. We gave up playing and went back sitting down. After that, and Shu xian started calling each othe rto prank call that their parents called. hhahas. It was very funny. we hope that Eugenia and Jennifer would hear and let us out. Cause parents have more authority. Hahas. But, it didn't really work. After the entire thing. It was already 6 plus. We were stuck for approximately 45 minutes. They gave up. They even called ellis saying that Eugenia and Jennifer had already gone home. But, we could hear them in the canteen. Hahas. VERY FAKE!!! hahas..

After that, we all went back home.. hahas.. Then, that was all. pretty exciting but I wouldn't want the same thing to happen. We even said that there's a lot of solid fuel and there's lighter. We could cook! hahas.. there's also sufficient sweets to last us for 3 days. hahas. with 2 cartons of milk!!!! hahas. In the end, of course we didn't do anything like that. But it's a comforting thought that we could do so much things in the guides dent. hahas. Night!!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'm so bored right now. Later on, I'm going to bed to read my book. My sore throat is gone but, cough came back and running nose. Not only that, my phylm comes out green colour! My mucus as well. I know it's disgusting but it's just the fact. Now, I actually went to Jennifer's house to do the sewing up of the banner. Practically, me and eugenia was slacking. We were watching the little bride 18. It's a series show, that's why we had to keep changing disc everytime. But, the show is super nice!!!!!!! I was so addictive to it that I watched until 7.30 before I go home. Hahas. Stil got 6 more disc to go. Most prob, we'll be going to Jen's house to watch it. Hahas. I can't borrow from Eugenia because it's not hers. It's her aunt's colleage. Hahas. I know the relations are pretty far.

Oh well, I love the show!!!!!! 'Ni hui lai le' 'Wo hui lai le' Hahas. So cute!!!!!!!

Ok, I'm turning in already. I know it's a short post but I need to read book. hahas. nights!!!!!!

2006-05-29T01:13:00.000-07:00

I need you to know that I do all these things not to hurt you but you tell you the truth. Sometimes, the truth hurts but you just have to accpet the reality. That's just life. I'm sorry if my words hurt your feelings. But sometimes, I'm not a robot that is immune to what my friends say. I'm those sort who will take thinsg too hard. When it is not even necessary. I hope this will not really spoil our friendship or any sort. You've got almost no one to turn to. I understand. But, sometimes, you need to reflect on what you say. I know that I have to as well, But I would like emphasize that no one's perfect and you should not change yourself if you don't want to. If you think it's for the better. By all means, do it. If you want to be that way, don't change yourself. Let the people around you change for your sake. I know it's selfish but do what you want to do and do what you enjoy. Don't cage yourself in a world that you have to constantly change just for the sake of others.

If you are moved to a different environment, are you going to change again when you're so happy with yourself. SO, find who you truly are, and stick to it.

Trust me, I may say things that hurt poeple, but, I like to write it down to make them realize things and for me to let it out of my chest. I could not stop thinking about it. but when I wrote about it, I fwelt a lot more better. So, bear thigns in mind.

2006-05-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

I just got a bad sore throat in the afternoon. After that, my sore throat made the turn for the worse. I started having flu and cough. Then, at night, my breathing was hard. I could not breathe properly. My asthma was back. But it was not that bad as last time. I just ate medicine and it felt better. No air-con for me today.

Not only that, Singapore Idol is horrible. I don't like one of the girls. Oh well. My sister kept telling me not to talk to her as I may pass the germs to her. She's very sensitive to this kind of thing. I understand, but can she like put herself in my position when she sneezes. Oh boy, you wouldn't want to be near her when she does that. You know why? It's because all her saliva would fly to your thighs and it's just very unhygenic. Like Ewwww. She's talking to all sorts of guys right now. I see her old self again. Flirting. I pity her boyfriend. She tells him EVERYTHING. Even who she talks to or what she talk about. I wonder how he stands it. I mean, if i were him, I would blow up anytime. Well, I guess i'm not him, that's the point.

I tried talking to someone to ease my breathing a little to keep me distracted by my horrible throat which I find it even hard to talk. But, it didn't work cause someone was distracted himself. Oh well, can't be blamed.

I'm quite pissed at someone as well. It's not the same person. She actually told me off yesterday. I was not that happy as usual. As you know, I cannot eat most thing due to my religion. Next time, I will remember to bring my own packed lunch. So that I would not bother my friend about what they will be eating. Bunch of stupid idiots who does not respect people's religion. She asked why i cannot eat everything one? Why don't you just back off?

Then, it seems that I was not over the entire incident. I became pissed when she asked me about guides. Eugenia wants the program list soon. She wants the rough sketch. Oh well, I know that. But then, she said that she could not meet up. She's busy. As usual, a lot of things can run through my mind especially when I'm sick. I'm more prone to getting pissed off. I was saying inside my brain that like I'm not busy like that. She wanted to meet on tuesday morning. I'm not an early waker. I refuse to wake up early in the morning. After that, I said something like morning? As an indication whether it can be done on another set of time. She tells me that she can't do it at night. I'm like, I can't make it at night as well. WHO wants to go out at night to discuss about things that makes people feel as though they've go no life of their own?

It was suppose to be on the afternoon. Then, she changed to the fact that we actually no need to meet up. It can be easily discussed on the phone. Like duhh, why didn't I think of that earlier. After that, we were settled on doing it over the phone. And that was it. Silly me. Why do I have to get pissed at this stupid minor stuff. She thinks that she can't do it tomorrow. She says that she has an appointment in the morning. How about this? I've got an appointment with my maths 5 years series with Mrs. Li. Isn't that nice? Not only that, It would be held for 2 hours and a halve. After that, both of us with another group of us has an appointment as well. With Ms. Loh with our brains that just can't pass english.

After that, she's got chemistry project. I've got a meeting with the library that was always postponed due to certain reasons. For 2 weeks, it was postponed. It was such a longing for me. I managed to go once, but was held back when I was going to borrow the books. Hey, that part was my fault. I should even suggests on going to the library with someone else's library card.

I don't even feel like waking up tomorrow due to my condition. But, HEY! do I HAVE A CHOICE? Obviously, the answer is NO. So, I should just head out for bed dreaming of me not waking up for remedial lessons tomorrow. So, good luck and bye bye!

2006-05-26T06:22:00.000-07:00

I believe there's change of my style of writting as I was commented by someone. It sesms are though my blog isn't what it used to be. Hahas. I admit, it's pretty much changed. There are totally no emotions. The emotions were not potrayed well. That's why I actually avoid descriptive essay. Hahas.

Oh well, I need to tell you about what happened today. I was really tired. There was too much 'hentak kaki'. It's pretty much annoying as my feet were aching. Not only that, I have to march for 4 hours at the academy. It's a combine rehearsal. I don't know how we're going to face it. The people in the contingent was not really that good. Therefore, I really hope that we would not embarass ourselves in front of the other CCAs.

I need to catch my dinner and sleep after a while. I'm so sorry for the stupid short update.. hahas!

2006-05-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

I have gotten back my results. It was not as bad as I thought it was. I failed 4 subjects. Look on the bright side; I’ve got no F9. It has been quite an improvement for my physics. From a 9 to 8. Improved by one grade. I know it’s pretty pathetic. But nonetheless, I had improved. I was pretty disappointed in my English. It could never be a good grade for me. I failed it. It was really a shock to me. I need to buck up on my English. It seems as though my weak part is actually comprehension. I did a lot worse in Comprehension than in any other section of the English paper.

Massive amount of people was very shocked when I told them so. It was partially before of my vocal. I can speak well but I will not really do well on paper. I know that my English is as bad as any other people right now. There’s a great need to improve and do something about the language that may pull me down. It may not be an easy thing to do but I’m determined to do so. I wish that I would have enough energy at the end of every single day.

I was actually under s group called the focus group. We are supposed to see certain teachers as we have failed more than 3 subjects for mid-year. Mr. Chua had actually addressed the school about the issue. It was shocking that there were more than 100 people in the focus group. I was part of it and my other classmates were there as well. I know it’s pretty much drastic but I have to know where my weakness lies.

Do you know that chemistry needs a lot applying concepts instead of memorizing? I realized that this year and it has taken a lot of effort. I could not really blame it on my paper. It was partially of my fault that I did not study for chemistry.

Miss Loh actually took the classes 3e1 to 3e2. She talked to me. Both of parents were present with my sister as well. I know it’s pretty much extra. Nonetheless, Miss Loh actually knew my sister, which was an understatement. She told me that I was suppose to me better than my sister but why am I doing so badly now. Well, I must say that the pressure on the students is more Intense than last time. Not that there was much of difference of age between me and my sister, but we can see the syllabus change and the amount of topics I learn when I’m in a triple science and double Mathematics class. It’s not that easy to cope sometimes and people have to understand.

Well, that certainly showed that people actually thought highly of me. I need to bath right now. I’m very tired and need to prepare things for guides tomorrow. Goodbye.

(Words: 493)

2006-05-24T07:39:00.000-07:00

I'm here again. It seems that my results was not what I had expected. It was horrible. I had studied pretty hard for it and this is the kind of feedback I get. Of course my dad was not informed of my sinful act! Merilyn is irritating me. That's probably because I'm very feisty right now. I even failed my English! It is the most embarrassing thing that had happened to me. That's why you can see why I've written in perfectly good English. Forgive me if there are a few grammatical. I'm still quite new to this new way of writing. I may be quite profound when I'm in my language during vocal but not on paper.

The thought of writing in perfect English without any Singlish is depressing. I’m quite use to writing with adding Singlish inside. And here I am, writing in a language that seems quite profound. I hope that my new arrangement of writing will help me improve my English language. I have yet to do something about my other language that is not doing so well either. But, it was not until to the extent of failing, although I do have a feeling that it is going to turn out that way. I just have to believe in myself and do my best in anything.

As my results were devastating, I am going to attend certain tuition to further improve myself. The only factor that affects that is my schedule. I am a very busy woman as you can see. My June holidays are filled with raging activities. It is horrifying just thinking about it.

There are days where we are to do badges like Total Defence and Crime prevention. Other than that, there’s a patrol leader’s camp coming up. Not only that, there are days whereby we need to come back for extra meetings to prepare for the campfire.

Other than that, I lack of sleep. I can’t wake up that willingly anymore. Wait, when was it that I was willing to get out of bed? That must be a dream. But, not, I am more reluctant that I had even been. It’s cruel thing to do to my body. We not only sacrifice our time, but our effort in preparing for the campfire. Come to think of it, we should actually involve more of the sec 2s. We are doing too much things by ourselves. We should involve them in order to pass down the knowledge down to them. If not, how are they going to learn in the near future?

Giolinni has also made me quite pissed. He laughed when I told him the amount of subjects we failed. Apparently, this is no laughing matter. I don’t see the need to laugh at all. Such audacity! Now, he just told me that he thought it was the other way round. He’s not too happy about that the fact that he laughed at me. Well, he sounded as though he is. Now, he is very shocked. He said, ‘OMG OMG’. Yes, it sounded pretty horrible. Well, that shows that he expected me to do better. I mean that is good and bad at the same time. It is good that he think highly of me but it’s not good the fact that he is disappointed. What am I crapping about?

Moving on, I need to read. I’m desperate. I’m retiring to bed soon after I finish this post. I’ve written quite a long post. But, I’m spouting nonsense most of the time. I don’t see the relevant points of the entire thing. Nonetheless, I can tell you how many words I’ve written at the end of the entry. I would expect a lot but I know I should not get my hopes up too high.

I found out something very interesting. You can write a lot when you are interested in the topic you’re talking or discussing about. My friends would have been quite surprise to read this entry as this is too long. It’s very unlikely I’ll write like this all the time.

Miss Chua had given me some tips. She told me to write a lot instead of reading. She said what’s the point of reading? She advised me to write blog entrees longer and written in perfect English. All the Singlish has to be avoided at all cost.

Not only that, I’m elated due to the response of two schools today. They had decided to come for our campfire and perform as well. It’s a pity that certain schools are not performing. I hope Seng Kang will reply us soon. It is heard that they are coming to our campfire. I’m honoured to have such good schools to attend to our campfire. Not only that, we are also invited to Hougang Sec’s campfire during the June holidays on the 10^th. It is a combine camp by the Scouts and Girl Guides. We are really looking forward to it.

It will be very interesting. I would like to see Catholic High scouts there. Not that I like them or fancy them but they are very fun. They really liven up the atmosphere during a campfire. We would like to invite some scouts but due to some complications of the teachers and students, we are unable to do so. Therefore, it was only for Girl Guides. Not only that, we are inviting the other uniform group in our school. I hope it wouldn’t be too rowdy with the people from our school.

Not only that, I hope that the boys would control themselves and don’t flirt around with the Girl Guides in our school. I sincerely hope it would successful. I’m going to be the emcee on that day with Jennifer. We would have to be really hyper on that day to get the people going. We are most probably going to be sisters in the story line of the campfire.

Tomorrow would not be such a good day for me. Mrs. Kumar had selected a few students to do a presentation for parents-meet-session. It would be pretty stressful for all of us. I’m doing my part of presentation with Yen Ling. Good luck to both of us. I just have to go with the flow in this case. My mom would be there. That would be pretty awkward. I don’t like being forced. Nonetheless, do I have a choice? There would never a choice given to us; the path had been set out drawn for us. I don’t know why is it so hard to change back.

It seems that my eyes are shutting close soon. Apparently, I need to do laundry as well. I’ll be ending off my entry here. Goodbye!

(words:1,123)

2006-04-27T05:48:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and tired of everything..
i really dun noe wad to do..
i want to be a robot with no feelings..
i wanna be like wr. she's so pro..
immune to almost anything..
and she can juggle a lot of things..
I hate my life..
I'm so busy with bad time table..
im crying again.. why do i have to be so weak?
I put up an up front with my parents..
not wanting to hear them nag..
Not wanting to hurt their feelings..
Tml is the day where we need to hand in our walkaton card..
Ms queck will nag if we don't have enough money..
Even if you talk to her, it seems as though she's nagging..
She's always like that..
But, when one of the guides only got 2 bucks, she nag saying that it wasn't enough..
I Wanted to borrow money from my mother to pay for the walkaton card..
She took the card from me and discuss with my father..
Well, at least i didn't steal the money away from them!
Then, my mom didn't want me to use my own money to pay.. gila..
it's also my money.. not yours.. gila.
then, both my parents paid money so, i got 8 bucks in total..
i also dun noe where i put hidayah and merilyn's money.. i still need to pay money.. wads the diff..
Then, my dad say that if my teacher nag at me tml, I must tell them..
my mother even wanted to call the principle.. crap.. gila..
don't make life hard for me.. don't tarnish my reputation like u did for my sis..
that life is not for me.. i dun want to end up like her..

2006-04-22T21:47:00.000-07:00

I'll tell you what happen during the Syf band central judging..
well, bowen won gold with honour... that's great.. I noe..
but, certain things happen..
I was so dead tired yesterday that i broke down yesterday..
I don't noe wad got into me..
the thought that i have to go to school the next day just taunted me..
I had to memorise something that was my oral..
and it's tiring having to live my life this way..
I mean, everyone can rest the next day longer than me.. but, how about me?
I have to study after a day full of activities..
but, nonetheless, I refuse to wake up and go to religious class..
I'm going to get it from my parents when they come home later..
hais.. i had to teach the school how say a few of the songs...
Mrs kumar kept changing wad she wanted...
dots..
and man, the school, erms, wads wrong with them???
I mean, they should cheer man..
hais.. so hard to get them to cooperate... stupid sec 3...
And my class, dun mention it, all of them are no where to be found..
all of them went to different classes..
god, since you like that class so much, why don't you just opt in the first place.. stupid idiots..
why did u even come to my class?
although we won the champion class for cross country..
although i was there cheering you guys on..
but, do u ever know wad happen to the rest???
u dun know right?
i tell you... some of them went off with ppl from other class n sing when they were walking..
I just don't tink you guys should be doing this when certain ppl in our class are trying our best to bond the class together...
haiz.. and im even more disappointed in one person in the cross country..
Gosh, how could you follow them when you could actually get the top 50..
I wanted to see you.. but i only saw a few from our class.. I expected to see you..
but, I saw you with a bunch of other people..
hais..
but, as a coucillor, we never fail to get scolding from teachers.. right?
never fail.. let me emphasize on that !!
at first was the lion.. i made an announcement.. cause 'bunga' told me to..
then, got scolded.. lion said dun make any announments before informing her..
hais.. nvm.. all bunga fault.. but, nvm..
then, kumar scolded elle and they all.. she said that they were not screaming... shouting
ah.. crap..
then, after that, miss james scolded me.. cause i move when the class wasn't behind me.. hais..
stupid.. i was suppose to bring them to the other side.. then, i moved up.. tinking they followed me.. then, they went another way.. outside the gate, miss james scolded me..
then, mr leow asked me to move up a little bit cause there was no space for ppl to move behind.. and miss james was counting the number of ppl.. then, she scolded me again..
hais.. i don't know why i manage to maintain such cool after what happen so much.. i couldn't feel the hurt at all.. i couldn't i was so immune to it... then, when i got home, i broke down..i dun noe why..
sad life.. then, now, im actually studying for chem.. asked mr derek a few questions.. hais.. nonetheless, i having eat lunch nor breakfast..
so tired..

2006-04-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know her anymore..
She's not that one i knew..
The one that i knew was always cheerful and considerate of others..
the one i knew didn't show attitude..
I one i knew knew how to handle stress without leting it affect her normal daily life.
At least that was what she portrayed to the people around her, even me..
But, what happen? What change?
I Don't know..
I seriously don't know..
I lost a friend in her..
I could no longer stand her..
I can no longer take her..
Why;? Is it me?
But, i seriously hope she will go back to her happy go lucky ways..
But, i've waited pretty long already..
but, things just seem to have gotten worse..
Then, suddenly, everyone's bubble's seem to have burst..
Even I don't understand why..
I am still that person..
Just that i've slack too much.. that's the only difference..
To me, that is..
Now, I've got one person to always be behind me...
Is this the kind of atmosphere i'm going to spend my birthday in?
When two of my best friends are at odds at each other..
I wish they will sort it out.. but, what will happen if they do????
I don't noe..
I cant tell the future..
Now, I can't be bothered to tell people about my birthday..
I remembered one or 2 months before, i've been writting in people's organizer..
now, i cant be bothered..
I don't even countdown..
I have a sad life..
I'm trying not to push myself to the limit..
But, guides is taking my time..
I have to really plead eugenia whether we can come back for guides only once a week..
if not, I tink i'll die.. cause i don't have the time for my mid-year..
besides, I'm worried for her.. she's having the o's.. so, i hope she'll start concentrating already..
if we want to stay back, let it be for studies.. not anything else..
cause we need to start studying..
my results will drop tremendously..
for my A maths, i don't even know wad i'm doing.. haiz..
Now, i've only got to buck up and organize my time..
I need to work harder!!!!!!
hais..
Nvm, i've got to go and study already... laters... do organization first..

2006-03-25T21:46:00.000-08:00

Hey!!!
Im so happy... u all know why? cause the Bowen Girl Guides have made a name for ourselves!!!
We've won the award for the best performance.. so nice right...
we've prepared the thing for one week... not much i noe..
but, I think they've seen the effort we've put in..
hahas..
It's superb.. hahas..
We have certain roles.. servants, villagers and king..
Shu Xian is the king... they wanted me.. but, I die die also dun want.. hahas..
But, shu Xian Did a good job!!!! Well done dearie!!!!!!!!!
The servants are: Me, gwen, Wan zhen, Yan zhen, Wan ru, Ellis, *Celina and Eleena* <<< they're with the king..
The villagers are the rest... erms, let me just mention the names.. hahas..
They are januavi, syazwani, ru yi, hui ling, sarah, eileen, rajes, athena and atiqah<<< she's the mother..

Hahas.. so cool.. the music started too early.. then, we couldn't do the earlier steps.. so sad... oh well.. it's ok...
then, the stage is small.. so, we couldn't really exaggerate our steps.. hahas..
and i would like to thank all the seniors that have contributed.. for collaborating the steps with us.. inviting us to the camp fire.. if not, we'll never have this opportunity.. for replacing the mei yu who had a fever.. i hope it's true...
i also would like to thank drama for lending us the costumes... if not, we could have never been so successful!! hahas.. we'll show you the lamp we got.. so cool...
this is the camp fire we've attended for the first time.. hahas..
so good right..
and the sp rovers have agreed to help us.. for the gateway.. thank god.. if not, i do not know how i'll survive even trying to think of the design.. hahas.. at least something big is off ellis and my shoulders..
erms, thats all i guess... just hope my juniors will have some urgency... hahas. took so long to change... still dare to walk after that.. if i never run, i tink they'll still be walking.. in malay it's called terhege-hege... macam mak nenek... hahas..
and i dun like a negetive answers like: dun want, anything, dun noe..
man, these words dun exist in my dictionary... so, try not to say it...
especially when you get all whiny with me... gosh, pls use your whiny voice and method some where else..

2006-03-17T03:56:00.000-08:00

This week has been very busy for me..
I hate to do this but, guess i have to..
Everyday sure will go sch.. or just some where..
I went to sch on monday...
got some stuff.. dun remember..
Tuesday was north division day..
It was ok lar..
i took part in emergency cooking. which was outdoor cooking..
man, that sux..
My food sux..
i should have known better..
hahas..
oh well, i hope i can train my juniors next year..
this year isn't about winning but about experiencing..
Next year, we'll try to win!
Jia yous!!!
After that, we went to sch for the practise for sp rovers stuff..
Busy...
hahas..
Then, the next day I went out with poo kwee, hui yi and amelia..
Cressa had to go earlier.. So, i didn't get to see her..
They watched big mama house..
I watched it at night with my family..
So nice..
Quite funny... andrew so cute!!!
hahas..
Then, thurs wen to sch for sp rovers practise..
manage to do the steps..
hahas..
so now, we're to practise...
hahas..
erms, today, i went out with Jasmine...
Due to the temptation to sing..
I sang to her..
hahas..
Wu liao.. i noe..
then, tml got parade practise.. another selection..
I tink i'll go out..
hahas..
nvm, at least i've tried..
erms, sun most prob going out with Jas to do hw..
erms, that all bahs..
Then, i sort things out with her liaos..
The one that I don't really like..
i tink we're not ready to face each other yet..
but, we've cleared things out..
And someone seems to have tried to do something...
man, is it even your business..
Anyways, to my classmate,: hey, I'm sorry if i cause any hurt in you as well.. i tink we're both in the wrong.. I tink we shall be able to see each other in a clearer light now.. Since we'll be together for a long time.. lets make the best out of it.. =)

2006-03-10T06:01:00.000-08:00

stupid.
i hate studying now..
feel like giving it up.
i comfort myself with the fact that my other fellow school mates..
but everything tumbled down...
i am a glass once touch will shatter..
i dun noe wad my parents really wants..
i know wad they want..
but, can i do it?
why don't they do it?
there's a limit to everyone's brain max..
but, this time, i didn't study that well..
i seriously was playing..
but, this time my mother came in the fucking room just to nag at me..
wad rubbish..
she already know that i dun want anyone to talk to me..
but, she shouldn't go up to the extent..
rubbish..
total utter rubbish..
wad's my plan?
i dun noe..
i dun know about my fucking plan..
Hais..
I'm so busy in guides..maybe it's best if i don't get selected for the audition..
it might be better that way..
im way too overweight anyway..
hais..
i wanna kill myself..
but, let's just try..
guides are loading off a lot of my time..
=(
='(

2006-02-25T01:57:00.000-08:00

Heys..
I just came back from camp!.
hahas.
fun man.
Fantastic. bombastic.
Uh huh, kiss my shit.
hahas.
Well, that was wad started everything. sorta.
hahas.
Well, tired but, a great sense of achievement after climbing the Mountain Panti!
Hahas.
it's in malaysia in kota tinggi.
It took us around 10 hours to go up there and get down back.
With the outdoor cooking at the peak of the mountain!
So cool..
Then, there's this rock wall.
I had never been able to complete rock climbing.
It's hard.
Nontheless, there's this rock that we had to climb.
I made it!!!
It's tiring but, nonetheless, very very nice!!!
Hahas.
No safety belt!!!
Hahas.
just like that with ropes to help you around..
we kept getting drench in the rain.
I have two sets of clothes that is wet!!
sad life.
Then, we played loads of stuffs.
Indiana jones was fun..
but, the thing i like the most was the climbing..
hmmm, anything else?
i would have liked to canoe..
but, hais. sad life..
only the teachers are doing it.
Cause it's not that many.
sad life.
but, they seem to have everything there.
oh well.
zahir, zi ming, dennis and Rus was there.
they were my instructors for the coucillors camp.
evryone except for dennis actually was holding a big position.
i presume..
but, nontheless, they were not instructing us.
dennis was incharge of e3.
the campfire cock up.
i wouldn't blame anyone.
but, i believe it wasn't really our fault.
the girls in my class are mad about alwin.
he's quite good looking.
charming..
but, crude sometimes, i hate it when he does it.
my instructor is nice, enthusiastic, and exaggerating.
is that how u spell it.
oh well.
nonetheless, he called me the mother of the group.
hmmm, oh well, he's nice though.
everything was nice.
my 2nd fav camp!!!
woots.!

2006-02-15T23:37:00.000-08:00

hi..
I just knew that I had for the very first time for a very long time..
i just realized that I'm taking everything the negetively..
There's no one that would really understand me..
anymore..
ppl have their own problems..
but, where should i put mine?
I dun really know it myself..
I have so much things to do today..
physics WS
bio WS
malay debate
E maths filing.
haiz..
if i have the time, i need to do a lot of catching up already..
maths..
Haiz... i've been failing every single time..
I never passed any quiz or test mrs li has given..
I understand the thigns..
but, I tend to forget and blank out when I do the thing itself..
I dun noe why..
My parents are giving me a lot of pressure..
With every single assignment..
i failed one of my chem assignment..
cause i forgot to do!
Then , I anyhow do the thing..
My father threatened to cut my allowance..
and even deduct money from my sister tuition fee..
Cause she's teaching me.
And i not to have any money if my have tuition with my sis..
I just practically thought, why not?
So that my sister won't be able to ask me for tuition everytime..
Why? cause if she do, I won't benefit much..
So, I could easily reject..
Isn't that nice?
I've no been doing well in any assignment nor in any test..
Cause I don't have the time..
Or rathers, I feel as though i've got so much things to do!
And i dun have an organizer!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
that was before i started searching for an organizer..
Lols.
got one..
im starting to do bio liaos..
After that , physics, then, debate..
Wish me luck for it!
anyways, erms, i guess im ok already..
but, still sad about my parents and all.
I Dun noe how to give them the test to let them sign..
I got 16/40..
Haiz..
as always.. failed..
It's going to be a common thing..
i hope not..

2006-02-11T06:35:00.000-08:00

i feel sick.
I hate my life sometimes.
I feel as though I've got no problems in life.
Well, my parents think that my life is so easy.
Well, I would to see them trying it our for themselves.
I can't take it for more than 1 month.
And wheres the stupid fucking organizer?!
I've waited for it for 1 month already and
it still havent arrive.
My schedule is so disorganized now.
I feel stupid and used.
I wish sometimes that would just die in the world.
And ppl will forget about me.
And I wouldn't even exists!
I wish!
But, nonetheless, I cannot run away from my problems.
At least those rich brats need not do their own laundry.
Need not wash the dishes.
Need not iron their own clothes.
How about me?!
Do you know how hard it is to live with so many responsibility.
Theres a huge weight on my shoulder.
And no one would try to relieve me of it.
Cause,
well, i dont' know why.
Just maybe because they're such pain in the asses that they rather not help.
What canbe done?
I Don't know.
Haiz.
I guess I should be robot.
I wish I wouldn't get sleepy all the time in class.
I should start drinking coffee.
Haiz..
But, I don't like coffee.
But, I need the cafaine.
dots.
nvm.
Can't be bothered.

2006-02-07T04:22:00.000-08:00

hihi peeps...
hahas.
today we all helped out the sec 2s in their marching.
finally, i can see some improvement..
i just hope that they would improve on their banging and especially the leg position.
They keep doing horse shoe kick.
Well, then, need them to train to shout!
hahas.
--------------------------------------------
that was suppose to be the other day's one.. but,
no time to finish it.
I was talking to krti just now..
on line..
quite a nice guy..
hahas..
hmmm, today elle and me.
we had girl talk
hahas...
quite nice actually..
ok lar, mi quite want to go bed liaos..
i noe, short post=boring..
hahas..

2006-02-03T06:07:00.000-08:00

heys... I love myself..
today we did 'loads' of things in guides..
I love everything about it.
Just tiring.
And my feet are killing me.
hahas.
Hmmm, aye, we did loads of marching.
but mostly on flag etiquette.
So fun!
My first time learning.
Well, not really lar.
Seen the rest do it before and became the mark person.
So, quite familiar with the procedure.
I'm ok with the entire roles exchange.
The commanding was ok.
But, the big problem is the flag!!!
gosh, I've tried about 3 times.
Only got it in the end.
But, I'm lucky enough to get so many trys.
But, the wind didn't help me!!!
So sad.
hahas.
Nonetheless, I hope nothing cock up for all of us!
Jia yous!
I think we'r ehaving a practise this coming monday.
To revise back and learn some more...
Haiz.
Student initiated thingin'
hmmm, then, nothing much lar.
except for the fact that why does Feli and siti has to say that the havent learnt the thing before.
I mean, they've done it before.
Lols. Nvm.
But good news, my group won the debate. Malay.
We all had to compare the marks.
Of the four groups.
Then, sian dao!
We are goign against he same opponent.
Cause they got to the next round as well .
Cause they score higher than the others.
Sad life.
Then, stupid sore loser told us that we cheated!
She said that we knew the topic beforehand.
Before anyone knew theirs.
I mean, even if we had known which we didn't.
We prepared our speech in 2 to 3 days only!
And we actually had 1 week to do it.
I don't understand these people.
Sad life..

2006-02-02T02:41:00.000-08:00

harlow!!!
today we had parade rehearsal..
i today so lazy to lift my legs.. hahas..
cause of my shorts keeps hiking up..
hahas..

if i wear my fav shorts, then won't be like that de..
hais, sian..
today need to do a lot of things...
debate speech..
and hw!!
hahas..
i tink i'll just do last minute today..
debate in my piority list..
hahas..
sian...
i tink we'll sure lose..
you know why?
cause we're in a stupid stand..
it's not as if i want it..
hahas..
anyways, i've got to go... see you peeps tml?
and todays marching was...
erm, tiring...
hahas.. cause we are already very tired and it's adding on to the pressure..
hahas..
laters! debate here i come to lose..
hahas..

2006-01-31T02:03:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps!
Nice or not?
My bloggie.
Hahas.
spent two days edit here and there..
but not i do one de lar.
got it from blog skins.
hahas.
erm.
then, mi still got malay debate to do.
during the holidays, the three days. erm. four.
hahas.
i read like 3 story books already.
hahas. so nice.
gosh, i today slack slack.
feel so useless..
then, i want two things now..
it's in my mind!
i want the shebrooke bride.
and the Jay cd. EP.
hais..
peeps. remember..
and get it fer me!!
and if anyone see the sherbrooke bride by catherine coulter.
in the library, can u pls borrow it fer me?
pretty pls..
anyways, to all my dearies.
i need ppl accompany me go library...
i want to go to bugis one..
hahas.
so far right?
but damn it, the books there are suberbly wonderful..
gosh, ppl shouldn't have brought me there the other day.
now, im so addicted and tempted.
anyways, other than that,
im just very desperate to get the book.
cause it's about douglas and alex.
do u noe whos that?!
thats the main ppl of the book.
douglas is the earl.
the eldest of the sherbrooke. bro.
i've read about ryder adn tysen.
thats why im so desperate..
i hava even read about the son lar..
hahas. and the cousin..
haiz..........
i want it..
hahas.
anyways, need to do malay research liaos.
u noe why? cause got the thing lor..
debate.
we won and then, need to go to the next round.
sian!!!
the topic is, 'matches concerning appearances should be allowed now.'
i dun agree!!! but, sad, im in propo.
i have to agree with it..
but, come to tink of it, mariages now are based lot on looks.
don't you tink so?
but, wad is the real definition of good appearances?